


chasing cars

by simplesongsmistress



Series: life's like an hourglass glued to the table [1]
Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alpha Langris Vaude, Alpha Yami Sukehiro, Alpha Yuno (Black Clover), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Bisexual Finral Roulacase, Discussion of Abortion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Finral Roulacase Needs a Hug, First time writing smut folks, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Ledior Vaude's A+ Parenting, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Omega Asta (Black Clover), Omega Finral Roulacase, Omega Noelle Silva, Protective Langris Vaude, Slut Shaming, Smut, So much angst, Wish me luck, mentions of attempted sexual assault, poor communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:54:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27971933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplesongsmistress/pseuds/simplesongsmistress
Summary: Finral had always known male omegas were capable of getting pregnant, he just never expected it to happen to him. He sure as hell didn’t expect the other father to be Yami fucking Sukehiro. Life was funny like that sometimes.
Relationships: Asta/Yuno (Black Clover), Black Bulls Ensemble & Finral Roulacase, Finral Roulacase & Langris Vaude, Finral Roulacase & William Vangeance, Finral Roulacase/Yami Sukehiro, Kahono/Noelle Silva, Vanessa Enoteca & Finral Roulacase
Series: life's like an hourglass glued to the table [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048714
Comments: 104
Kudos: 335





	1. lie with me

**Author's Note:**

> Me? With three other black Clover WIPs and starting a new fic? More likely than you'd think.

_So here s the thing._ The thing being that as much as Finral enjoyed flirting and trying to attract the attention of a pretty lady (or gentleman, sometimes) there was scarcely a time when it went further than that. Putting the lackluster response to him aside, there was also the fact that- _well_. 

He had trust issues. 

The kind of trust issues that came with being cast aside as the head of his household, being disowned, and of course, being an omega. Being an omega came with its own set of obstacles, and his family only worsened them. Constantly. At least, until they left his life (‘left’, re: kicked him out of _theirs_ ). 

Being an omega in the magic knights came with its own set of difficulties. It wasn’t something anyone would want to brag about (at least until he met Asta who did everything he did in the face of obscurities, and who was unashamed of bearing the title of omega). 

The point being was that Finral was uneasy about sleeping with strangers. You couldn’t trust some alpha wouldn’t get frisky and decide to bite him over scent gland on a whim. The last thing he needed was to be Bonded to some entitled asshole. Once that was done there was no way it’d ever be undone, and Finral wasn’t interested in being tied down to anyone. Surly not a stranger. 

While not being promiscuous, Finral wasn’t completely inexperienced. And, by the age of 21, Finral could say with certainty he felt pretty damn experienced. Sure he’d only slept with a single person (he only had a single person he trusted enough to sleep with) but having a singular partner didn’t mean the activity _itself_ was singular. 

It was never anything serious or romantic. It was just a good fuck once every few months. Well, at least until he started having his heats, then it was a _guaranteed_ fuck once a month. Sometimes more than once a month if either felt up to it. _Well_ , if Yami felt up to it that is. Finral didn’t often feel brave enough to approach if he had an itch to scratch, Yami was the one who typically did the approaching. With his Yami bravado and charm, while somehow being a bit of a gentleman (and still remaining a bit of an asshole), he was the perfect partner. Well, to put it in more accurate terms. The perfect fuck buddy. 

Plus, Finral may not have had any experience with others but he was almost sure no one would be able to wreck him like Yami could. 

He was content with their arrangement. In fact, Finral would have been happy not to change a thing. If only it hadn’t resulted in _this_.

Twelve pregnancy tests, all with positive results, before him. He had kept trying, hoping that somehow it could _change_. (In his head, he reminded himself that was the definition of insanity, he chose to ignore that voice). 

“So the first one didn’t convince you, huh?” Vanessa asked with gentle amusement. She was the only Black Bull currently aware of Finral’s situation. Her knowledge came from Finral needing someone to get him the tests. He was a bit too nervous to get them for himself, there was enough judgment on an unmated omega at the age of 21. If anyone saw him there he’d be, well, _fucked_. Not in the fun way. Vanessa had a little more wiggle room as an alpha. Not only that but unlike Finral, Vanessa wasn't one for shame. 

“I’m still not sold on the next 11 either.” He admitted with a frown. Though, the results were indisputable. Finral Roulacase was pregnant. 

Oh god, he could already hear his father's reaction _'_ _Unsurprising of an unmated omega whore. Unsurprising of_ **_you_ ** _.’_ Times were changing in their society regarding secondary gender, but there were some sticklers for the olden days. Particularly the blue bloods Finral was raised with. There were far too many nobles who reserved the idea that omegas shouldn’t be magic knights, and that they should be mated as soon as possible. Omegas needed to be _‘taken care of’_. 

Ugh, if he had still been under his father’s thumb at 15 when he found out his secondary gender, Finral would be living a very different life. If it weren't for his disownment, his father would have sold him off to the most convenient alpha. At the very least, it sometimes selfishly made him feel a little less guilty about no longer being the heir to the Vaude household. It was never in the cards for him, regardless of his own choices. Ledior Vaude would never let an omega become the head of the Vaude Family. Finral’s choices and ability only sped up his displacement a few years rather than wait until presenting. Langris was truly and utterly destined to become the head of the house. 

Finral’s own choices just thrust the burden onto his shoulders even earlier than it would have been.

 _Ah_ , there’s that familiar guilt again. 

Finral let out a groan, burying his face in his hands. “I can’t believe this is happening Vanessa.”

“You know,” She began, not unkindly. “It doesn’t _have_ to happen. If it’s something you truly don’t want…” Vanessa trailed off but the implication was clear, as was her unwavering support. 

It wasn’t the first time the thought had processed through his mind. Hell, Finral had considered this option on the third positive test before he made his way onto the fourth. “I know I have the option.” He assured her. If it was something he wanted to do, Vanessa would keep it hushed and have his back. The thing though was simply this. 

“I don’t think that’s something I want to do.” Finral couldn’t very well explain it. It wasn’t some belief in a higher power or the belief he was prepared for being a parent. Maybe it was the appeal of having some blood family again who didn't hate him, or maybe it was the idea of him doing _right_ by someone. Both selfish reasons, he knew. Though, it was more than just those. It was a series of ideas and feelings Finral had often pushed to the side. Now, he had no choice but to face them. 

Lack of judgment remained in Vanessa’s stare, taking his choices as gospel without question. Instead, she asked this. “Do you know what you _do_ want to do?”

“Well,” Finral grimaced. “What I really _want_ to do is have a drink but I can’t do that.” 

Vanessa laughed. 

.

With Vanessa sworn to secrecy for the time being, Finral thought about what to do next. He couldn’t wing this, this was something to prepare for. _Someone_ to prepare for. At the very least, Finral knew he was good at preparing. It was something he’d become adjusted to with the unpredictability of the Black Bulls. With the Black Bulls he needed to prepare for everything because, with them, it could be _anything_. 

By his own approximation, he was only 1 and a half months pregnant. There was some time before he started showing, time enough to get everything in order and prep for the world-changing event that would occur. Well, it would be a world-changing event for _him_. 

What he felt was either anxiety or anticipation. With the swarm of emotions so thorough, Finral couldn’t really tell. Though he’d venture to call it anxiety as that was the one he was most familiar with. 

There was no intention to tell his father or stepmother of his news. The only ones Finral knew for sure he was telling were the Black Bulls. That itself though was something he was holding off on. Telling them made it a tad more real than he would have liked. 

Then there was Langris. 

His brother… he deserved to know. Finral had no idea if he’d even _care_ , but Finral knew he owed it to Langris to inform him (he owed his father _nothing_ , Finral would remind himself when he considered telling that man as well). 

Telling Langris was something he was very much putting off until he started to show. Finral was happy to hide it from the whole Clover Kingdom for as long as possible. He just needed to be careful in his timing, Langris needed to find out from _him_ , and not from some gossip. 

Idly Finral wondered if his brother even listened to gossip. 

_Anyhow_ , Langris aside and back to the Black Bulls. His prime concern was the only other person who this would also be a world changing event for. Yami, his baby’s other father. _His baby_. It was weird, Finral would say, but the simple terms filled his heart with some kind of warmth. There was going to be a baby, and it was going to be his. His and Yami’s. 

Finral was starting to believe he had it wrong before. Maybe it _was_ anticipation and not anxiety. Maybe he was more excited than he had first believed. He sort of liked the idea of the longer he thought about it. Sure there were some scary parts and things he didn’t know how to handle as of yet. But _a baby_ . All his knowledge of horrible parenting would no longer go to waste. With that knowledge at his fingertips, Finral knew exactly what _not_ to do. Very useful. 

Yeah, this must have been anticipation.

Or maybe it was morning sickness. 

Never had his magic ever been more convenient, nor had he ever been grateful for Yami’s bathroom habits. With the exact location of the bathroom in mind, Finral could easily aim for the toilet. 

Sometime later, when Finral was almost sure he was done. Behind him, he heard a familiar voice. “Haha, you’re all green!” Ah, Luck. 

Magna was there as well, though far more sheepish. He rubbed the back of his neck, refusing to meet Finral’s gaze. “I guess we owe you an apology.”

 _They did_? “You… do?”

“Yeah!” Luck replied. “We’re sorry that Magnus can’t keep up.”

“No, Luck!” Magna belted. “We’re sorry that our speed-eating contest grossed Finral out enough to puke!”

Well, that worked. Guess Finral had a bit more luck than he had assumed. Giving forth a light smile, he waved his hand. “It’s alright, I guess I just have a weaker stomach then I thought.”

Luck agreed. “You really do!” It was funny how he could say something fairly insulting with that large smile remaining on his face. 

Magna, on the other hand, frowned. It wasn’t too much worrying, Finral doubted Magna would assume he was pregnant. Nor did he have enough forethought to even think it was possible (not that on the grounds he was an omega. Rather, Finral was sure Magna never even considered the idea of his superior screwing someone. He wouldn’t say it, but he had a thorough belief in Vanessa’s ‘virgin’ comment). 

Maybe it was his easy agreement that put Magna off or his lack of a lecture. Finral didn’t know which, but he refused to take any risks. He had no plans for either Luck or Magna to find out so early, so he covered. “Though,” He thought on his feet, he had to nag and lecture them into thinking everything was alright. “You guys shouldn’t be having that contest in the main room!” Which was technically true. “That’s where we _all_ eat dinner and hang out. If Charmy saw you disrespecting food like that do you have any idea what she’d do to you?” Whilst Charmy had the ability to scarf down her food and savor it, not many were gifted with such… talent. 

Magna’s frown turned into a groan. “Aw come on Finral! We’ve done worse in there! Could ya stop your nagging for like two minutes?”

He’d won in the regard that Magna’s suspicions were erased. _Though_ , the mention of worse things happening in there made Finral feel like the huge hypocrite he was. Magna was surely referring to his and Luck’s battle royales when he said worse had happened in there.

There was no way he had any idea of the time Yami had fucked him on the table. Well. The table, the wall(s), the bar, the chairs, pretty much _everywhere_. 

Of course, Finral spent hours cleaning afterward. Yami didn’t so much as pick up a broom to help him out which was pretty annoying though unsurprising. 

… would that be what parenting was like? Putting aside the literal cleaning up after the kid, would Yami do anything at all? Would he even _want_ to? What if Yami didn’t even want to be a father? Finral was sure he wouldn’t demand he get rid of it, he knew Yami well enough to be positive in that much. But even so, he couldn’t guarantee Yami was interested in fatherhood. For all he knew, Yami would rather be the fun uncle. Or maybe not even see the kid at all. It wasn’t unheard of for Captains to have their members on leave during pregnancy. He might be on leave for a while, but Yami wouldn’t make him leave permanently. Finral was _sure_ , there was no way Yami would do that… right? 

“Ah, Finral?” Before him stood Magna with a look of concern. Even Luck seemed to calm down somewhat, sharing confusion and worry for his regard. Which was pretty kind of them, Finral would admit. It was nice to have a reminder his squadmates cared about him. (There were too many times his own anxieties got the worst hold of him and caused him to spiral. Case and point. _Yami_ ). 

“You’re lookin a bit pale there,” Magna said, whilst Luck stepped forward right into Finral’s personal space without any consideration. If they were in a more populated area, Finral was sure some asshole alpha would be stepping forward to ‘defend his honor’. Someone would be screaming about how it wasn’t proper for an alpha to go so close to an unmated omega. 

But they were the Black Bulls. And despite odd behavior, they trusted each other. 

“Luck...?” The boy lacked his usual smile, instead, a far more curious look was upon his face. Maybe Finral should have prepared more. Could alphas sniff out pregnancies? Magna was a beta, and Finral was fairly positive he wouldn’t notice. He hadn’t considered the idea alphas could just _sense_ it. Though, there were rumors other omegas would be able to tell. Finral made a note to himself to have private chats with Noelle and Asta sooner than later so neither would accidentally out him. 

“Luck!” Magna demanded once more. “What ya doin there?” Luck’s hand hovered above Finral’s stomach. Respectful enough not to touch him without permission (though he lacked any respect at all in his initial approach). Meeting his eyes, Finral knew for certainty, Luck knew. 

The look on Luck’s face could only be referred to as ‘puppy dog eyes’. He should _not_ be so good at that, Finral noted. _Very unfair_. Sighing, he relented to the implied question. “Okay.” 

Permission given, Luck’s hand fell upon his stomach. Magna remained looking the utmost confused. Finral faintly acknowledged that he should be the one to tell him, being the one pregnant and all. _But_ … ugh. Telling people? Finral had been looking to avoid it for as long as possible, not spilling the beans in a single day. 

Langris once told him he was horrible at keeping secrets. At the time Finral hadn’t given much thought to the single insult within the barrage of them. Now he was starting to think it may have had some merit. 

“I’m not even two months in,” He told Luck. “You really won’t be able to feel anything.”

That seemed enough info for it to finally dawn on Magna what he was missing. 

“Ahhhh…. “ He stared. “You’re…” His jaw fell. _Come on Magna, you could get there_. 

“FINRAL!” Suddenly he was screaming. Which wasn’t too shocking considering, ya know, _Magna_. But Finral disliked it all the same. “YOU’RE-”

Quickly Finral’s hand shot forward to cover Magna’s mouth. He was fairly sure not many squadmates were in the base, but Finral would rather not take the risk. Slowly retreating his hand with a calmed down Magna, he nodded. “I am.”

Magna made a face. “How did you even _know_ Luck?”

Finral wouldn’t put it past Magna to not know the inner workings of if an alpha could sense a pregnant omega. Especially because Finral himself wasn’t all too sure of it either. He had been pretty sure that only other omegas would have been able to sense him, but given Luck’s reaction, he seemed to be wrong. 

His smile perked and back in place, Luck said. “The mana.”

 _Oh_ . Well, that made better sense. Luck was an expert at sensing mana, better than most anyone. Him sensing the tiny bit of mana his baby had, that made _sense_. It was a relief knowing he didn’t need to go through extra lengths to hide from every alpha they knew. 

“Not because you’re an alpha?” Finral reaffirmed, needing to hear it said. 

The confused face Luck made was all the confirmation Finral needed. No, it wasn’t an alpha thing. It was a _Luck_ thing. While unlucky, pun not intended, was very reassuring. Every alpha being able to sense it would have been something far worse. 

“Uh….” Magna seemed at a loss for words, whereas Luck continued with his attention on Finral’s stomach. “Congratulations?” Magna didn’t sound very certain in his own words. 

Still, Finral offered a smile. “Thank you, Magna.” 

His attention fell back on Luck when the teen made a noticeable pout. “Guess we can’t fight to the death anymore when Finral is around.”

“We aren’t fighting to the death at _all_!” Magna shot back while Luck laughed. 

This hadn’t been how he was expecting this to go at all, but Finral was pleasantly surprised and somewhat touched. Luck was ready to refrain from fighting around him, and Finral hadn’t even _asked_. Magna seemed a bit awkward but happy for him. 

Neither of them even considered the idea Finral would be leaving.

It was a bit more heartwarming than Finral had expected from the two boisterous bruisers. 

“Oh!” A bit awkward, Finral realized he needed to make something clear. “I… _really_ don’t want this getting around. I plan to tell everyone here eventually, but for now, do you think you two could keep this quiet?” 

Magna and Luck shared a look with each other before simultaneously smiling. 

“You could count on us!”

Maybe it was the pregnancy brain at hand, but somehow Finral believed them. 

.

It was less luck this time and more opportunity at hand. Noelle and Asta had been visiting the Golden Dawn's base. Noelle needed to see Mimosa for relationship advice regarding her girlfriend (Finral tried not to be insulted she didn’t go to him, but then again he didn’t have much of a good relationship track record. Or any track record at all really), and of course, Asta wanted to see Yuno. 

It was somewhat unspoken, but it was pretty universally agreed that the two Hage boys were seeing each other. Even if no one had any proof of it, it was unanimously agreed. They already acted like a Bonded pair, practically an old married couple. Nevermind the familiarity and protectiveness between them. It was learned fairly early on that you shouldn’t go after Asta while Yuno’s in the vicinity, and the same could be said for Yuno when Asta was around (Asta was damn scrappy for an omega. Actually, scrappy was putting his strength _lightly_ ). 

Of course, no one had solid proof of what was truly going on between them. Sometimes Finral suspected they were simply private and good at hiding. Other times, he suspected not even _they_ were aware of how besotted they were with each other. 

Either way, he took the opportunity to chat with the two fellow omegas. 

Before the teens came along, Finral had been resigned to his fate as the only omega in the Black Bulls. Neither Asta nor Noelle had presented when they initially joined. That came later the next year. It’d been up to him to talk both teens through what they were experiencing and what they’d face as an omega.

It was kind of sad in a way. He’d been such a shitty older brother to Langris, but he seemed to be an okay-ish one to Asta and Noelle. Or at least, Finral tried to be. He wanted them to feel comfortable relying on him. _He was their superior_. It was Finral’s job to be there for each of them no matter what occurred. 

He hadn’t had another omega to be his guide or warn him of what was to come when he presented. Vanessa advised but the truth was she hadn’t known the extent of it. Rumors were only a fraction of what an omega went through. Entitled alphas thinking they could lay a claim to them without consent, enemies in the midst of battle trying to obtain submission by a bite on the neck, being looked down on in general as someone ‘lesser’, and of course there were the _heats_. Lucky for Noelle and Asta heats only started upon the age of 20. It didn’t mean they couldn’t get pregnant if they weren’t careful, but it was less likely. 

Had Finral been in heat when he and Yami--? … he didn’t quite remember. 

“You smell funny Finral,” Asta stated, blunt as ever. The frown on Noelle’s face meant she was in agreement with Asta’s observation. 

Finral chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah… about that. We should get some food. My treat.”

Noelle quirked an eyebrow while Asta cheered. For the first time, Finral was ready to break the news of his volition. _Well,_ less of his own violation and rather to prevent the risk of accidental revelation. He didn’t need anyone sniffing around him (shoutout to Luck) when he wanted to keep it quiet. 

“So how was your visit to the Golden Dawn?” He asked, trying to start a bit of conversation before going into the bigger news at hand. 

“Yuno was acting weird.” Asta started with instantly, at least one omega was willing to talk to him about their romance with him. “He was _really_ weird.” He continued, not specifying what was weird about it. 

“That’s… funny.” Was it? Didn’t feel very funny. _But_ , Finral needed to move onto the topic at hand. Noelle had no trouble in spurring it on. 

“So what is it you needed to tell us? I am royalty you know, I don’t have time to waste on frivolous things.” She flipped her hair and Finral found himself more amused than anything else. It was hard to be insulted by that attitude nowadays, not when he knew what was behind it. 

“Okay okay… “ He gave a sheepish smile. “I might as well just rip the bandaid off.”

“Well?” 

Finral inhaled. He had discussed this before, and he had implied it, but this would be the first time he uttered the words out loud. It was… it felt strange. Also... exciting though. Like the new chapter of something in his life. It _was_. “I’m pregnant.”

Asta and Noelle stared at him for a long long moment, both with wide eyes and shocked looks. Then- 

“Congrats!”

“I knew it!”

Asta had an encouraging grin on his face, and while Noelle smiled, hers was less about the revelation itself and was more about being _right_ . Because, apparently, _she knew it_.

“You… you what?”

Cheeks reddening just a bit, Noelle confessed. “I thought you’d been smelling a bit odd lately. I thought this might be it but I also wasn’t sure given your lack of… you know.”

Wow, all The Black Bulls really thought he was abstinent. 

Well, except one. That specific ‘one’ had an unfair advantage though, him being the one to ensure Finral _wasn’t_ abstinent. 

“Thank you for not being uh… _loud_ , about your concerns.” It wouldn’t have been great if his squadmates had found out before he had known for sure. Finral could even picture it in his head, the chaos and awkwardness. _Hey, guess what Finral, you’re pregnant!_ Maybe they’d throw a surprise party. Of course, it’d get soon ruined by something or another but Finral would appreciate the heart in it. 

Oh god, he was going to need to have a _baby shower_.

That was a Future!Finral problem, he decided. 

Once more, Noelle turned her head away and flipped her hair. “Of course not! I’m royalty, I’m not loud. Unlike _some_ people, Stupidasta.”

Unbothered by the insult, Asta instead looked over Finral with a bright grin on his face. “You’re gonna be a great dad Finral!”

In an instant Finral’s cheeks lit up with color, embarrassed as such unexpected praise (well, any praise was unexpected given he was so unused to it). “You- you really think so?”

Asta's smile remained strong, unbothered by Finral’s hesitation. “Yeah, I do!” It was funny, how Asta could remain so confident in him so unabashedly. In fairness, Asta was confident in just about everybody, but nonetheless, it was touching. 

“I think so too,” Noelle declared though with less vigor (though given the amount Asta put into everything, _everyone_ had less vigor than him). Though it wasn’t as bright as Asta’s (honestly, who else's could be?) Noelle gave him a smile as well. “You’ll be an excellent parent Finral.”

This… was more touching than Finral thought it would be. He thought he’d get some congrats, some odd questions, and they’d be done. The faith in his supposed ability to be a good parent wasn’t something he would have expected at all. 

“Thank you both.” He said, truly grateful for the encouraging words. He would need them, he knew. “Before I forget,” Because he _would_ forget. “Please don’t tell anyone this just yet, I’m not ready for anyone else to know.”

“Your secret is safe with us,” Noelle said, before pausing. “It’s safe with _me_ , and I’ll make sure Stupidasta doesn’t mess up.” 

Asta, like always, didn’t take insult to her legitimate insult. Instead, he laughed. “We’ll keep it under wraps!” He was excited, as always. Still, despite it being his normal behavior, Finral couldn’t help but enjoy the excitement. 

It was nice. 

.

The trio were getting ready to go back to the base when a civilian approached them in distress, she couldn’t be older than 12 and looked disheveled to the core. “You-you're magic knights!” She exclaimed, gesturing to the uniforms. “You have to help me, _please_!” 

Asta’s dumbfounded expression was quick to morph into a determined one. “What happened?” 

While the girl began to explain to Asta, Noelle tugged Finral by the arm just a little aways and whispered to him. “You should stay here Finral.” 

It was funny how a few years ago he would have been overjoyed to hear such a thing. Not so much nowadays. “I might be able to help,” He objected. “I’m a defense mage anyway, I won’t be on the front lines or anything. It’ll be fine.”

Noelle didn’t look very convinced or okay with it, but there didn’t seem much time for argument. Instead, with a grimace, she warned. “Be careful.”

Finral nodded.

The town they were currently in was just a little aways from The Golden Dawn’s base. It was where the three omegas typically went to catch a meal after visiting the base (well, Asta and Noelle visiting. Finral dropping them off and picking them up). According to the small girl, she lived in a village just one over. They were aware of a magic knight’s squad near, so she and a few other kids from their village came around trying to find them. 

Their village was under attack by bandits. 

The three of them should be able to handle measly bandits with ease, Finral knew. Though the fact there would probably be a lot of them was slightly unnerving. Maybe Noelle was right, and he should stay back. _But_ … there had to be some injured. The little girl seemed scrappy but she even had cuts and bruises. Finral had to imagine there were some decently injured people there, and they would need portals to medical care as soon as possible. 

He had Noelle and Asta with him, two powerful offensive magic knights and close friends of his. Everything would be fine. 

.

Okay so, everything was accordingly _not_ fine. While Finral had been correct in his assumption Noelle and Asta would be able to handle them with ease, he hadn’t anticipated the sheer _amount_ of bandits. Asta and Noelle had been taking them down with ease but there were so many injured and frightened townspeople Finral was wishing they’d called in backup beforehand. 

So far he’d sent a number of injured civilians to medical care (though perhaps he should have alerted them before sending so many wounded). Finral had to assume at least _some_ magic knights were alerted to the havoc. Though, they could be assuming the Black Bulls had it covered. Not necessarily untrue but also not fully, well, _true_. 

They handled who they could but damn there were so many. 

Anytime a bandit came near him Finral opened a portal that sent them in Noelle or Asta’s path. He’d considered opening one to the kingdom’s prison but ultimately decided against it. It would take too much magical power he didn’t want to waste. Already he was straining to send each wounded to be treated, he didn’t want to overexert. 

He was working _hard_ to keep his attention fixed on the situation at hand. He needed to be aware of all his surroundings, try to find the worst injured and get them to safety, help whoever he can, and make sure the bandits stayed far away from him and his- … his baby. 

His baby. 

It was the sound of a child crying that split all that delicate focus. Finral fixed his gaze at a mother holding her child, he’d assume the boy to be around three years of age. He was openly weeping. Finral didn’t blame him. There were a lot of times he wanted to openly weep too. 

The baby’s mother had a gash on her forehead though she seemed relatively okay. Though, a head wound could go pretty bad if untreated (something he learned the hard way. Afterward it was made clear that hiding a wound of any kind would not be tolerated unless he wanted to handle Yami’s gambling bill). 

“I’m going to portal you to safety, okay?” He spoke to the woman, though his eyes kept flickering to the child in her arms. 

The women stared at him, a mixed expression. Most either didn’t spare him a glance or only said a quick ‘thank you’. This was decidedly different. She held her child closer to her, then she spoke. “You shouldn’t be on the battlefield, young man. Not when you’re with child.”

An omega, just like him, Asta, and Noelle. It wasn’t like omegas were the only secondary gender to get pregnant. Sort of. Secondary were _secondary_ for a reason. The first gender mattered in the equation as well. Females could get pregnant in general, but only _alpha_ secondary-gendered females could get impregnante. In that same vein, males could impregnate but only _omega_ secondary-gendered males could get pregnant themselves. 

It was a strange world they lived in. 

“I’ll be fine ma’am,” He smiled politely. “Thank you for your concern.”

She frowned at him. “You shouldn’t be on the battlefield in general,” Her eyes loomed over Asta and Noelle. “None of you.”

Ah. 

So there it was. 

Forcing his polite smile to remain (a fake smile, Finral noted duly), he spoke. “And you shouldn’t think so lowly of your own kind, but something tells me I won’t be able to change your mind.”

Her frown now had a matching glare. “I see.” More uppity, she held her weeping child closer. “You said something about portaling us to safety?”

That poor kid. Stuck with a mother so stuck in her ways. Finral could only hope they would grow up to be a beta or an alpha, that way their mother wouldn’t force her ideologies onto him. 

Then again, there were ideologies about betas and alphas as well.

“Yes.” He responded stiffly. “I did.”

This didn’t feel right, Finral knew. _This didn’t feel right_. “Your names?”

Her eyes narrowed at him, and maybe if she didn’t think of herself and fellow omegas as so lowly she would have questioned him. Instead, she said this. “Tara and this is my son. Sora.” 

_Sora_ . Finral recalled hearing the word once before. He and Yami had been laying together after a heat. It’d been one of the few times they actually had pillow talk and relaxed together afterward. Yami had told him a tale from his youth before he’d traveled to Clover. He mentioned someone named _Sora_.

Perhaps this child’s father was from Yami’s homeland?

“Are you going to make the portal or not?” Well then. Maybe she felt more comfortable demanding things than Finral had first assumed. 

“Yes.” So make the portal he did, making a note of it in his memory to check on this situation when all was well. “Be safe!” He called after them, though his eyes were fixed on that little boy, Sora. _Poor kid._

His gaze remained fixed on the portal after it disappeared. Mind still reeling from what he’d just seen. Finral had always been aware there were some old fashioned views on secondary genders, but he’d always assumed they were stuck up nobles. The fact that those views spread beyond just them… he kinda hated it. The views in themselves were limiting and pretty awful. The fact some people believed them so entirely just made him feel sick. 

Finral could understand thinking lowly of yourself. He understood thinking you deserve… less. But those thoughts of his, they stemmed from his choices and who he was as a _person_. Not his secondary gender. 

He felt sick just thinking about it, and this time Finral was sure it wasn’t the morning sickness. 

“ _Got you_!” 

He hadn’t meant to let himself get distracted. Finral didn’t mean for a lot of things to happen, and yet… they did. Getting pregnant, being judged by another omega, and having a bandit surprise him from behind. 

The asshole had the delicacy of Asta near Tatoes. That is to say, none at all. 

He had gripped Finral by the wrist preventing him from shooting off a spell of any sort whilst twisting his arm around Finral's jugular preventing too much movement (unless Finral wanted to choke, that is. Perhaps if he wasn’t pregnant it would have been more tempting). 

“No sudden movements.” The asshole whispered, his breath smelled like cheap booze. Not the good stuff Vanessa gulped down. His grip was something tight, and then the bandit, presumably alpha, _sniffed_.

Oh. Finral _hated_ this part. 

The guy began to chuckle as if he found out some dirty little secret. “Little omega are ya?” 

Most alphas could tell easily. This moron had to be close to his neck and get a whiff just to tell at all. Briefly, Finral wondered if it was rude to assume all the bandits were morons. Then again, they _did_ attack a village near the base of The Golden Dawn, the strongest magic knights squad. 

Speaking of which-

“Yuno!” Finral heard Asta shout with a grin. Though he didn’t see him grinning Finral was almost positive of it occurring. Asta seeing Yuno always ended with a grin of some sort. 

“Damn.” The moron alpha bandit muttered, it was the sound of someone who knew he would be losing. 

Finral took it as a queue to elbow him. He didn’t know what he would hit, just that it would hit _something_. And if he was lucky, the alpha would startle enough that he’d loosen his hold and Finral to escape. 

That wasn’t quite what occurred. “Goddammit! You omega _whore!_ That fucking _hurt_ ! _”_ That was another thing Finral hated. The idea that any omega unmarried and not bonded by 18 meant they were a whore. Just like all the other views, this one wasn’t settled across the kingdom. It was old and outdated, but too many people clung to them anyway, under the guise of ‘that’s how it’s always been’. _Ugh_. 

He let go of the omega's wrist and neck, yes. It wasn’t by startle though, the bandit let them go on purpose, shoving Finral to the ground in an instant. “I’ll teach you to mess with Big Sal.”

 _Big Sal_. Was Finral supposed to take him seriously? He expected Asta or Noelle to sweep in, or one of the Golden Dawn who came along with Yuno. Maybe even Yuno himself if the guy felt generous. 

He didn’t expect Asta to scream. “Don’t hurt him he’s pregnant!”

Well. Guess Noelle had been right. Asta really was not much of a secret keeper. 

It was as if the battlefield froze in that second. Or at least, to Finral it did. With the alphas ghastly gaze on him, a twisted smile blooming. “You really are a whore, ain’t y-”

Suddenly magic knocked the bandit back. It wasn’t Asta or Noelle’s though. The first bit that sent the bandit stumbling away from him, that was Yuno for sure, it was inexplicably wind magic. What came next, however, was decidedly _not_ Yuno.

A barrage of attacks, each new one more savage than the last. Rippling through the air and taking down the alpha with vigor. That magic, he recognized that magic, Finral realized. “Langris-”

Before he could utter another word, the Vaude heir was standing before him. Fury was in his gaze. _Uh oh_ , what did he do now? Langris and he always had something of a tense relationship. The only time Langris defended him was out of obligation on behalf of their blood and secondary genders. Finral was an omega, Langris was an alpha and they shared blood. If someone tried to start shit, Langris would be assumed to interfere. Beyond that, there wasn’t much. 

“Are you?” Langris demanded. 

“What?”

“ _Pregnant_!” Oh well. Of course Langris had heard that, Asta was very very loud. It was only reasonable Langris had heard it, even if Finral had hoped otherwise. 

“This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you.” It really _wasn’t_. Finral had intended to go to the Golden Dawn base himself personally to tell his brother. He didn’t know the words he would say (though he had been planning to have it written down and perhaps rehearse it a little) and he didn’t know how Langris would have taken it in that correct circumstance. As it stood now, his brother looked murderous. 

Langris blinked his eyes, processing the info. “You… _idiot_.”

Finral grimaced. This was one of the reactions he had expected. Finral had hoped for, at best, indifference. His father, he knew, would say something about being unmarried and unbonded and implied him to be a whore. Would Langris do the same? He’d gotten a lot of harsh words from Langris in the past, but never before about his secondary gender. He grimaced in preparation for an omega related slur. 

He got something else instead.

“You’re pregnant and on the battlefield? Just how stupid are you?” Langris demanded, a look on his face more frantic than Finral could ever recall seeing before. No way, there was no way he was… was Langris _concerned_?

“You need to leave immediately,” Langris ordered him. “This isn’t a suggestion.”

Finral sputtered. “There are townspeople who need help! They need medical care and I could transport them-”

“You shouldn’t be taxing your magic either!” Langris retorted, loudly. “You should know better than this! You’re _smarter_ than this idiocy!”

That was the closest Langris had ever come to complimenting him. Wow.

“I won’t leave.” Finral remained firm. “I’ll be more careful but I can’t just abandon all these people.”

The look on Langris’s face was nothing like Finral was used to seeing. He was used to facing his brother’s anger, but he wasn’t at all used to it being born from _worry_. And worry for him? It sounded crazy. 

“Fine.” Langris seethed. “I’ll remain with you until they are all safely evacuated so you could leave as well.”

“Langris, you don’t have to-”

“Again, that wasn’t a suggestion.” 

Finral stared at his brother who seemed a bit flustered despite his confident tone. 

It was kind of nice to know Langris cared, even if he was unfamiliar with it. It was also _weird_. He refused to engage in conversation of any sort, and after a few failed attempts Finral gave up. Then again, there wasn’t much time to talk at all in general. Too many were injured and needing care. While Finral found those injured and sent them to safety, Langris remained by his side. Any bandit that came within 20 feet of them was sent soaring away and savagely unconscious. Langris took no time to play, he swatted them down with ease if they came close. 

He also put himself physically between Finral and wherever the nearest bandit was. It was something subtle, and part of Finral, the older brother part, was insulted. He should be the one protecting Langris but… but he was pregnant. Langris wasn’t just protecting Finral at the moment, he was protecting his future niece, nephew, or whoever they chose to be. 

That was probably why he cared so much, Finral realized. Despite being happy that Langris cared for his unborn child, it was a bit disheartening as well. Langris would never protect him like this if not for the circumstances at hand, if nor for the fact he was pregnant. Finral was the cowardly family disappointment after all. 

To Langris, he’d never be anything more. 

Finral tried to look at the positive side of this. At the very least Langris would care about this child and be a good uncle to them. He was already protecting them so viciously. Finral never had any doubt this child would be able to rely on the Black Bulls. It was nice to know Langris could be someone they could rely on as well. 

Eventually, there were only little bandits at all left, and then 'little' turned into none. All those injured were with medical professionals on account of Finral's portals. Their job was done and over with. A mission complete. (Though there was no technical mission at all and more of a coincidence). 

“Langris,” Finral addressed him at last. “Thank yo-” 

“Brother,” Langris interjected with a firm frown on his face. “I can’t believe you’d be so foolish as to allow this to happen.” 

Finral gave a sheepish look in response. “It was an accident.” He said. This was normal from Langris, the berating that is. Though what he was berating him _for_ was another matter entirely.

Langris gave him a look. It wasn’t a look Finral was used to receiving from his brother. It _wasn’t_ full of anger or aggravation, and it wasn’t taunting. “Which part?” He asked the question quietly. Quieter than Finral had ever heard him. 

It took Finral a moment to fully comprehend what Langris meant. _Oh_. 

There wasn’t much reason to lie. It wasn’t like one could lie about being Bonded, and Langris would have known if he was wed or even in a serious relationship. Putting those aside, Finral simply didn’t feel comfortable lying to his brother. “... both.” He answered. _Both were an accident_. Briefly, he wondered if he should expand on that. Explain a bit more than he hadn’t gone out intended to go into danger, and that he hadn’t _planned_ to get pregnant but-

But Langris asked something else instead.

“And I gather you’re keeping it if that boy’s yell indicated anything.” Finral hadn’t thought of that, but it was true. Asta’s scream to try and keep him safe told a lot in it. Not just that he was pregnant, but that he wanted to keep the baby. Still, it hadn’t been what Finral had been expecting Langris to ask him. 

Softly, Finral responded. “Yes, I am.”

Langris nodded. He looked like he wanted to ask many more questions, but he didn’t. Instead, keeping his mouth tightly shut for a long moment.

Finally, he said this. “This can’t happen. You shouldn’t be putting yourself in danger.”

“Langris-”

“ _Brother listen_ ,” Somberly, Langris continued. “If this happens again, I’ll be forced to take action.”

Finral looked at him with uncertainty. “What do you mean by that?”

His brother looked away from him refusing to meet his eyes. “I won’t standby if your bad decisions start affecting more than just you.” The words in themselves felt like a threat. But the look on Langris’s face and his tone was anything but. It was the most vulnerable Finral could recall seeing him. It _wasn’t_ something he wanted to do, whatever ‘taking action’ was. But he did care enough to do it if he felt like it was something needed.

If he felt like Finral's choices threatened the baby. 

“That won’t be called for,” Finral assured him. Despite the threat of Langris’s words, Finral refused to let himself be deterred. 

Langris finally met his eyes once again. “I hope you’re right.” He said, and it looked like he meant it. Finral hoped he did. Langris turned his back, but he didn’t walk away just yet. “Be safe.” He told Finral for probably the first time in his whole life. 

Finral stared for a long moment, not sure what to even say. He’d never been told that before, not by anyone and certainly not by Langris! By the time he finally summed up words to say, Langris was beginning to walk away. 

“Ah- thank you?” He called out after him, though unsure if those were the right words. “And you too! You… be safe.”

His brother turned around giving him a look of confusion at the prospect of being told ‘be safe’. He didn’t utter a word though, the look on his face did all the talking. And awkward talking it was. 

“B… bye.” Finral offered a wave and once again, Langris turned to take his exit. 

“Finral!” There were Asta and Noelle running to meet him. They didn’t seem much marred by the battle despite it going on quite a while. If Finral had to guess, they didn’t break a sweat. The only overwhelming part had been the numbers, not the power level. 

Asta rubbed the back of his neck with an apologetic expression. “Sorry about that before.”

Noelle smacked him on the shoulder. “I _knew_ you would do something like this!” She proclaimed. “This wasn’t what Finral wanted!”

“It’s okay Noelle,” Finral spoke. Which wasn’t entirely true. no lives were in danger or anything but now, well. People _knew_ now. The villagers, the bandits, and the Golden Dawn. Word would be spreading soon one way or another. 

It sped up his time frame to tell people. Well, the most important person left to tell.

 _Yami_. 

Noelle frowned at him, obviously not believing it. Asta looked quite guilty as well. Despite wishing he hadn’t yelled it as he had, Finral couldn’t bring himself to be angry at the teen. “Everything will be fine.” He said to them, and to himself as well. _Everything would be fine, right?_

.

Something Finral hadn’t wanted to admit to anyone, especially himself, was that he had wanted that extra time for a lot of things. So he could decide how to tell the rest of the Bulls, so he could figure out what kind of missions he could do in the meantime (if any at all) and… to prepare somewhere to go. If somehow things went south with Yami, he’d have somewhere to go. 

It was an unlikely possibility, but there were more reasons than just that. He needed a small place to escape, especially now that he was pregnant. He needed a place that could remain quiet and without any ruckus. He needed somewhere he could get sleep without the risk of being awoken by a loud bang, a place with guaranteed safety. 

Finral loved the Black Bulls with his very heart and his soul. But even he couldn’t say for sure if they’d be able to give him the place he would need during this pregnancy. And once the kid was born? Finral trusted them all to keep his baby safe no matter what. But he wasn’t sure if he was ready to raise the baby in the squad base. 

There was always so much chaos. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing all the time, but kids needed stability. It wasn’t like Finral planned to hide away from them all. But he needed to be prepared for the possibility that living with the Bulls while pregnant or once the kid was born just wasn’t… probable. 

He loved the idea of it, of course. The idea of it, hypothetically, was wonderful. The reality was, however…. the reality was this. Vanessa drank, Magna and Luck fought, Charmy ate everything, Gauche threatened everyone, Grey could be scary when she was hiding, Asta could be naive and Noelle could be demanding. As much as Finral wished to believe otherwise, patterns weren’t so easily changed. Maybe he’d be surprised and things _would_ change. But, just in case, he had to be _safe_. 

Safe meant having an apartment set up. 

Then there was also the Yami part of the equation. The part with the most questions and uncertainty. Yami’s reaction… Finral had no idea what to expect. They’d never spoken about kids so much as a topic before. The closest he’d seen Yami with kids was Noelle and Asta. Asta, who sometimes he threw by the head.

He was working himself up, Finral realized. He was getting anxious and nervous and letting those feelings fester. He was assuming the very worst, and Finral knew it. He needed to just rip the band-aid off. Tell Yami. The worst he could imagine, Yami kicking him out of the Black Bulls. That _wouldn’t_ happen. He was sure (well, in his head he was sure. His heart still felt a spike of fear with the thought of it). 

So, just talking to Yami… he could do this. Finral assured himself one last time.

By his request, Vanessa was holding down the fort. Making sure they were uninterrupted upstairs. Of course, it’d been an hour since then and with the moving rooms, Finral was having a tough time finding their Captain. More than once he considered simply portaling to him before deciding against it. He shouldn’t be expelling any more magical power than necessary at the given moment. Especially after having done so much magic earlier in the day. 

Finally, Finral found what he’d been looking for. The bathroom. It was more typical to find Yami in the bathroom more than his room, something Finral took a while to learn. But now, the lesson was set. Just like a lot of things about Yami he knew. His favorite beer, how- despite how vulgar he could be at times he was actually pretty gentlemanly (unless you asked for otherwise), how he cared so much for his squad…

Feeling more confident, Finral knocked against the bathroom door. “Ca-” No, this wasn’t a ‘ _Captain_ ’ conversation. When they had their time together, he wasn’t Captain or Sir, he was _Yami_. “Yami,” He called. “I need to talk to you.”

“About what?” 

Finral startled, the voice coming from a direction he hadn’t been expecting. Yami hadn’t been in the bathroom, he was across the hall from him. 

“Could you not find your room?” Yami asked him. “You’ve been circling around out here for a while now.”

“You’ve heard me circling for an hour and did _nothing_.” Finral surmised, annoyed. Yami simply shrugged. It was very classic Yami, and he was used to being annoyed by these little mundane things. But right now wasn’t the time or place to hold onto his annoyance. Nor was it time for him to let those small annoyances sink into his wider fears. No, he had to hold onto his confidence. 

Inhaling deeply, Finral moved on. 

“So uh, we uh…” Maybe he should have thought about what he was going to say beforehand like he had planned to do with Langris. Suddenly having the chance to actually say it, Finral was at a loss as to _how_. 

“You're being weird,” Yami observed, a lazy confusion painted on his face. He could tell something was up but he didn't care enough to ask. 

“... yeah.” Despite himself, Finral found his cheeks red. He _was_ being weird, and he had every right to be. Yami just didn’t know that bit yet. 

Stepping closer, a tad more concerned, Yami said. “I thought you already had your heat this month…” Unabashed, he raised his hand and placed it upon Finral’s head. “And you don’t have a fever…” 

It was pregnancy hormones, Finral decided. Those were it. It was why in this moment, with Yami so close, he felt an _urge_. It was a little bit like being in heat but also… different. 

When he was in heat, like most omegas, he wanted anyone available. 

In this moment, all Finral wanted was Yami. 

It’d always been Yami who started things in the past. With Finral’s clear permission of course, but it was always _Yami_ who initiated that first kiss. Not this time. It was his _scent_ , in a way it’d never been before. Finral typically loathed the scent of Yami’s cigarettes, now it felt… inviting. Not giving thought to his actions, nor even looking at the look on Yami’s face, Finral leaned forward and connected their lips. He had to on the tips of his toes to accurately land the kiss but nonetheless, Finral succeeded.

It was only afterward that his own actions dawned upon him. Cheeks growing even redder, he pulled back. “Sorry! I uh-” Whatever he was about to say was forgotten the moment Yami’s arm slid around his waist bringing Finral closer to him. 

“Why you apologizing?” Yami whispered, a sultry hint to his tone. With the warmth of his breath on his neck, Finral felt like he was going to _melt_. 

“... I guess I’m not then.” He decided at that very moment. There was no preemptive thought to any of this, he was simply listening to what he felt. Or maybe it was what his body felt. Finral wasn’t very sure. Either way, he knew he wanted Yami. 

With no regard to the very bad result of his current actions, Finral crashed their lips together once again. He didn’t know if Yami was affected the same way he was, but the man sure was eager. Yami lifted Finral with practiced ease, cupping his backside while he did so. Finral’s legs twisted around Yami’s waist while the captain pressed him into the wall, lips never breaking contact in the meantime. 

Disconnecting them, Yami asked him lowly. “Wanna go somewhere a lil bit more private?” 

That was typically Finral’s line. He was usually the one antsy about any of their squadmates catching them. 

His squadmates who were literally downstairs at this very moment. 

“Bathroom.” Finral decided, more eager than he would typically be. In the past Yami himself had actually suggested such a thing and Finral had given him such shit for it (pun not intended). This time, however, Finral couldn’t bring himself to give a shit (pun, this time, intended).

He wanted to fuck. 

Finding either of their rooms would just take far too long. 

Without their lips connected, Finral moved onto his neck. Sucking on the older man’s neck, inhaling his scent in a way he’d never done before. Yami jostled him a bit so he could carry Finral with one hand while he opened the bathroom door. He sat Finral down upon the closed toilet while he shut the door behind them. 

“You sure you’re not in he-” Yami began to ask again, but Finral was a bit faster than his question. Already undoing his pants and massaging his cock through the fabric. Without hesitation, he pulled Yami’s underpants down and took the head of his cock with more vigor than he ever had before. Even during his heat, Finral was more interested in getting fucked than sucking cock. At this moment he wanted Yami, all parts. 

Any question on his lips died with Finral’s lips on him, Yami inhaled sharply and his finger’s grasped onto Finral’s dirty blonde hair. “I don’t know what got you in the mood but _fuck_ …” 

He rolled his hips just a little, and Finral took that opportunity to swallow further. It was more than he’d ever taken before, but there was no recoil. Finral continued until he reached the base of Yami’s cock, choking a light bit when he took the full thing. 

Yami began to pull back at his small choke but Finral didn’t relent. “ _Fuck_ Finral…” Yami cursed, inhaling deeply. “Keep goin like that and I’m gonna..” 

In the past, Finral had always told Yami explicitly what he didn’t want. Cumming in his mouth was one of those things. This time, however, Finral couldn’t bring himself to _care_. In fact, he wanted the opposite. He nodded his head as well as he could, trying to encourage.

Yami, despite the strangeness of it, took the queue. 

Cum splattered in his mouth on his tongue, and finally, Finral pulled back. It was his first time tasting cum. It was a bit salty, he noted. But beyond that, there was nothing more to note. Except for the fact he was a bit of a fucking _mess_ now. 

“The hell Finral…?” Yami began, only to be cut off again by Finral. Though this time it wasn’t with actions so much as words. 

“Fuck me.” He demanded. 

Yami gave him a look. “You just did a lot, are you sure-”

“Aren’t you the one who’s always saying to surpass your limits?” Finral demanded of him. 

Once again, Yami gave him a stare like he was trying to read the situation. His gaze settled on Finral’s determined one for a long moment before he spoke. “If you’re sure.” Slowly, a smirk began to etch on his lips. “Can’t argue if you’re insisting.”

“Good thing I am.” 

Then. Well. It was on. 

Finral undid his pants and underpants at once, not even bothering with his shirt (it was dirty anyway, who cared?). He turned his body so his hole was facing Yami’s dick, ready to be plunged into, ready to be _fucked_. 

“God, you're wet for it…” Yami remarked, taking a look at all the slick coming from Finral’s ass. He wasted no time in dipping a finger in. Only a single digit to start with but Finral was already mewling from the touch alone. Digging in there like he was _exploring._ Pft, as if Yami hadn’t touched every spot on him and in him.

“Man, something must have really gotten you going.” He commented, and Finral held his tongue. _Yeah, that was you and your stupid scent because of my stupid pregnancy hormones you stupid alpha_. 

“Could you fuck me already?” He demanded, a bit breathless already from Yami’s touch alone. 

Yami made a face. “I _was_ gonna stretch you out,” A second and third finger was added at once. All three digits in Finral’s hole, fucking in and out of him. 

The omega _moaned_ . It was louder than he ever allowed himself to be in the base. Hopefully, no one would hear with them being downstairs, but even if they did, _Finral didn’t care_.

Leaning closer, Yami spoke huskily into his ear. “Damn Finral, you seem all ready to go.” He pulled his hand back, rubbing the slick on his fingers together. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so wet before.” 

Turning back sharply, Finral exclaimed. “Could you stop talking and just-”

Suddenly Yami grasped him around the hips. Not fucking him from the back but lifting him and letting him fall onto his hard cock. Well, not entirely though, only letting the head enter Finral. 

He gave out a chuckle. “You sure are desperate, aren’t ya?”

Finral groaned, head falling onto Yami’s shoulder and holding onto him tightly. “Yami Sukehiro if you don’t fuck me, I swear to fucking Go-”

Then, there it was. Yami let his hips fall and Finral with it, his dick penetrated the omega in one fell swoop. Finral wrapped his legs around Yami tightly, savoring the moment of his alpha's dick inside him. There was something so splendid about being so full of his--- _no_ , he reminded his mind. Why was he letting himself think these things? Yami wasn't his alpha, he wasn’t his _Bonded_ and he wasn’t his husband.

It was the hormones. 

Yami turned them around so he could take a seat upon the closed toilet, with Finral continuing to perch on his dick and hold onto him tightly. 

“Fuck you’re so tight,” Yami panted. 

And then he gave a small thrust and Finral suddenly remembered _thrusting_ and how good it felt. He wasted no time in following Yami’s lead, bouncing up and down on his cock. The dick entering him and leaving at such a rate, Finral felt himself close to completion. God, it felt so good to be so full and filled. It felt _right_. (Inwardly, Finral knew that was just the hormones. Still felt pretty damn good though). 

Eventually, Yami got tired of Finral doing all the work and lifted both his legs higher so he could have better access to his hole.

Then another round of fucking commenced. Yami was speedy and unrelenting, plunging in and out of him with such powerful thrusts Finral was whimpering, and moaning for it. Until finally, he came. 

Yami made a movement to stop only for Finral to reject it. 

He wanted Yami to cum again. 

While surprised, Yami didn't argue. His toes curled as Yami continued to fuck into him, each thrust more powerful than the last. Surpassing your limits indeed. Finral couldn’t help his moan in pleasure. “F- _fuck_ Yami.” He moaned holding onto him. 

“I gotta cum,” Yami said, beginning to pull back. 

Finral didn’t let him. “Cum in me.”

For the first time since this fucking commenced, Yami met his eyes. “I thought you hated that shit?”

Typically, he did. “Just shut up and cum in me.”

So Yami obliged. 

Finral was filled with warmth as Yami’s cum was spurted into his insides. He felt it leaking out of his ass the instant Yami let him down and he collapsed against the wall with a deep exhale. 

Yami whistled. “Damn Finral.” He looked him over. “You’re a fucking mess.”

Despite himself, Finral laughed. “Yeah, guess I am.” 

The alpha was staring at him and Finral felt warm under his gaze.

At least, until he spoke. 

“Fuck, I probably should have worn a condom.” The words were said thoughtlessly as an afterthought with no real panic to them. 

Finral’s jaw clenched. “Don’t… don’t worry about it.”

After all, he couldn’t get pregnant twice. 

Yami gave him a curious look like he might inquire further into Finral's words. Instead, he shrugged. “If you say so.”

Then there was a cigarette in his hand again, and he took a huff out of it carelessly. “I’ll make sure no one bothers you in the shower.” The alpha pulled his pants up and dusted himself off. He gave a look over the messy omega fucked out on the floor. “You need me to carry you there?” He asked, his tone sounding like it made no difference to him either way if he carried Finral there or not. 

“I’m good,” Finral replied weakly. “... thanks.”

Once again, Yami shrugged and repeated the phrase. “If you say so.”

He turned around, he didn’t look back and he shut the bathroom door behind him. 

_Fuck_ , Finral thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had this idea for a millennium but I hadn’t actually started writing it until a few weeks ago and then I was on a mad rampage to get through. This time around I forced myself not to publish until I got to where I want, rather than publish on a whim like I do with others (cough*cough* a little (too) late *cough cough*). 
> 
> STORY NOTES:
> 
> The whole Sora subplot was not something I intended. I wanted something to distract Finral so the bandits could surprise him and initially I just had a baby’s cry before it grew into THAT. Which, oof. There’s a chance that the subplot won’t be concluded in this fic. I do plan for this to be a series though, so it will be eventually if I don't get to it in here. 
> 
> The story is called Chasing Cars as a reference to both the song by Snow Patrol, and Finral being referred to as a ride. So, chasing ‘cars’.
> 
> Writing Yami was HARD. I got there and suddenly was like uMmmm WTFFF. It took a hot second to get a grasp on him and even now I worry he was hella OOC. 
> 
> Yami and Finral fucking before the reveal was not planned at all. That whole scene came from me realizing the confrontation couldn’t happen here because there was something else I wanted to happen first plotwise (that thing will happen in chap 2 *wink*) but I liked what I’d written so I opted to keep it and then THAT happened somehow. It was my first time writing smut in a fanfiction and I hope it wasn't too horrible. Also on that note, the chap was actually supposed to end with the reveal. But I liked ending it here instead after the scene happened and Finral quite literally fucked himself over again. The reveal will be next chapter *wink*. 
> 
> Last sidenote: I initially had only Vanessa and the omegas knowing Finral’s pregnancy. Then I really liked the idea of Luck sensing it, and if Luck knows Magna must as well.
> 
> If you wanna chat with me, my discord handle is lemoncoke#5445 and you could always hit me up.


	2. forget the world

There were numerous occasions Finral found himself alone in a bar and thought _how’d I get here_? 

This was not one of those occasions.

He knew exactly how he got here. The grueling, cringing, and heart-wrenching tale of how he left the Black Bulls. Well, the Black Bulls _base_. He was still a Black Bulls member, and hopefully, he would remain one.

Finral was used to being uncertain of many things, his place in the Black Bulls had never been one of them. Huh. Funny how things could change so fast. Last week he was worrying over if the color green was becoming something tacky, or if he’d ever find someone who he could actually settle down with. Funny thing. Funny question. _Was_ there an alpha out there who he would ever be able to trust and spend the rest of his life with?

Maybe.

Maybe if his baby ended up being an alpha. As of now, however, the answer felt like a solid ‘ _No way in hell_ ’.

.

It was his first time cleaning himself up from such a vulgar substance and Finral very much remembered why he’d gone through such lengths to avoid it before. It was sticky, pretty gross, and pretty much a fairly unenjoyable thing to have over your skin, clothes, and hair. 

The hot shower was nice though. Even if it didn’t do anything to cool him off from his anxieties. He was practically lying to Yami by omission and then he _slept_ with him. Finral knew it was the hormones, he understood that. Still, he couldn’t help but think to himself, _what the fuck Finral_?

His clothing was still soaked, having washed them in the shower himself. So he changed. After all, Finral couldn’t risk anyone seeing or smelling them. Far too dangerous. After all, no one on the squad knew about him and Yami. 

This included Vanessa. 

Right now she was under the impression he was telling his _Captain_ some very big news. Which while not untrue _,_ wasn’t the ‘whole’ truth. She didn’t know their Captain also happened to be the father of his child. It hadn’t been an intentional secret. It’d just been something… awkward. Finral had never been good with awkwardness. Once upon a time, back in the day, Vanessa herself had been besotted with Yami. Now she was over him. Or at least, she claimed to be. 

A thought struck him. _Would Vanessa hate him if she knew the truth_?

The thought of it alone made him want to drop down and cry. Finral didn’t know if he could live in a world where Vanessa hated him. He needed her. Her friendship, her support, _her_. It was shameful to admit, but Finral knew he wouldn’t be able to handle this without her. Hell, he hadn’t even been able to get the pregnancy test without her help.

No one knew the baby was Yami’s yet. No one had even asked him about the baby’s parentage. No one would know until the kid was born. Finral sighed to himself. Either he’d be lucky... _or_ the baby popped out looking like Yami fucking Sukehiro. The man had distinctive features, he’d probably pass some of them on. For all he knew, out would come a mini-Yami. Not that Finral disliked his features (quite the opposite, actually). Finral himself had been born with his mother’s eyes, he was kind of hoping to pass those down. Was that a thing expecting parents did? Hope their kids have their eyes? Did that count as selfish? 

Was it also selfish of him to want to take the chance that maybe the baby _won’t_ look like Yami? That there was so little resemblance no one would be able to tell? Keep the baby's parentage a secret? _Yeah, that_ **_is_ ** _selfish_ , he lamented to himself, _very_. 

Yami needed to know. At the very least, as his Captain, he needed to know. Finral didn't have too much time before the gossip would begin to spread. Quite a few people had heard Asta’s yelling, and he couldn’t count on anyone’s silence. 

He slipped down the stairs into the first floor without most noticing him. ‘Most’ of course, excluding Vanessa. She gave him a pointed look. “You were up there for a while.”

Did she suspect something had occurred? Was that accusation on her tongue? God, Finral had never imagined having to tell your best friend you’re sleeping with her ex-crush. Well, in all fairness he’d never thought he’d have a best friend. Or that he’d be sleeping with anyone. (Or, that he’d be _wanted_ ). 

“I got sick.” He lied, feeling ill at flat out lying to her. That was probably karma.

Her eyes narrowed, as if not quite convinced. “... I guess that explains the change of clothes.” _Ah the change of clothes. Yes, they came from being sick. Not because I became a total fucking mess after fucking Yami. Again._ Vanessa paused, her eyes scanning him. “Did he not take it well or something?” She asked, and _oh yeah that was something he was supposed to be doing_.

“I didn’t get the chance to tell him.” He answered shamefully. Hopefully, Vanessa would write off the shame as him chickening out of telling Yami. Still, though, she didn't look fully convinced he hadn't told the man. It was as if she could tell something had happened but had no idea _what_. 

“You look upset though.” She pointed out. _Was he so transparent_? Did he look bothered, unsettled? Or maybe Vanessa was simply observant. Finral would hardly put it past her. So, yet again. He lied. “I’m not upset, I’m just… like I told you. I’m sick.” 

He really _was_ beginning to feel very sick. Or maybe he was even making himself sick from his anxiety regarding the baby’s father. Yami hadn’t said anything bad, not at all. In fact, it was the lack of words that was of importance. The lack of _care_ . Finral wasn’t stupid enough to think Yami didn’t care at all, he trusted the man so much so that he was the only alpha he’d ever slept with. But, there was caring and then there was _caring_ . The type of caring that came with being a _father_ , raising a _child_ . Was Yami capable of that? What if he _did_ care but _wasn’t_ a good father?

All the care in the world couldn’t make up for bad parenting. Not that Finral was familiar with the former of those things, just that latter. 

Vanessa didn’t look so convinced. “You know,” She said. “You could tell me anything.”

Did she know? Was this Vanessa’s way of saying ‘It's okay Finral, I’m not angry at you for your selfishness’. _God, he was so selfish_. 

“Like,” Vanessa began. “If he’s giving you crap about not being able to be his ‘ride’ or having to take leave once the you-know-who is here.” _Oh_ . So that’s what she thought. She hadn't believed him when he said he didn't tell Yami. Ah. Finral wished it was that simple. “If he’s being crass it’s just him being dumb. Don’t read too into it or get offended.” It was unsaid, but it was heard loud and clear by Finral. _Don’t let him get to you_. She knew how he struggled with how he was looked at, how people’s opinions affected him. She was trying to encourage and support him. 

If only she knew how important Yami’s opinion truly was. 

“Thanks Vanessa.” Finral responded with a forced smile that he hoped looked real.

Yet again, he felt sick. 

“I’m going to lay down for a bit.” He told her, setting to his feet. Before she could respond, however, someone else shouted out to him. 

“Finral!” It was Magna, and he looked very oddly determined. Luck was behind him, a grin on his face that reeked of mischief. Finral suddenly felt very unsettled. 

“Uh… yeah?” Quickly, he scanned around them. Finral had a sinking feeling Magna was about to blow his secret just like Asta had. Charmy was eating, Gauche was looking at a picture of Marie, Gordon was mumbling and Grey was… well, Grey. They were all in their own worlds and Finral hoped they would remain there regardless of whatever plan frivolous Magna (and probably Luck) had concocted. 

“You should sit down for this,” Magna said with the utmost seriousness. It was all very suspicious. 

“That’s not weird at all,” Vanessa remarked sarcastically, giving Finral a look like he should reel back and enjoy the show. He wasn’t relaxed enough for that though, not by a long shot. He hadn’t even told Vanessa that they knew yet, but he would bet by the look on her face she gathered that they did. 

He really needed to start communicating better. 

So, Finral hesitantly took a seat and Magna, in all his weirdness, stood before him. He took off his glasses and then did something even _weirder_. He knelt down on one knee, reached forward, and took Finral’s hand in his own. It was a delicate touch, and so unlike anything he had come to expect from Magna. Typically, the guy didn’t do much of any sort of delicate. It was… unnerving. “Um, Magna-”

“It’s a scary world out there!!” Magna interrupted, the stiff way he spoke the words made it seem like it was something he had rehearsed. _Oh god, had he rehearsed this_? 

“It’s- it's a scary world out there,” He repeated as if reaffirming it to himself. “Especially for a single--“ Magna paused as if he hadn’t already given everything away to those who didn’t know. Then again, none of the rest looked remotely interested in the sight besides Vanessa and Luck who already knew. “-a single _omega_ .” Somehow, that felt worse than the word ‘parent’. _Omega_. He knew Magna didn’t mean it in an insulting way, that he was covering for the word ‘parent’. It didn’t mean Finral had to like it. “I always thought that you and I had a special bond.” Magna continued much to Finral’s growing horror. “So…”

Magna fumbled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out-- _dear God that was a ring_. “Finral Vaude Roulacase.” Faintly Finral wondered if Magna thought _‘Vaude’_ was his middle name or if he just had no idea it was dropped completely with the whole disowning thing. “Will you marry me?”

Finral would count himself semi lucky he didn’t start laughing from the sheer audacity of it. He was a bit too much in shock for that. How did one kindly say ‘Hell no’? 

Then there was laughter... just not from him. 

Of course, Luck was laughing. Tiny little giggles at the look of Finral’s face and Magna’s actions ( _that_ was a weird relationship right there between Magna and Luck, he and Vanessa had a running bet of when they’d pick up on their own feelings and get together. It wasn’t a specified date, Vanessa had the odd-numbered days of the month and Finral had the even-numbered. It was a game of chance.). The pink-haired witch was holding in a chuckle at the scene before, though it was clear her resolve to hold them was wavering entirely, and then there was the whole hearted laugh coming from Yami. 

Oh _. Yami_. 

He was at the bottom of the stairs, having snuck in so silently Finral hadn’t even noticed. He didn’t even say a thing to them until Magna’s display, to which he laughed with so much amusement that Finral legitimately felt like he was going to pass down. 

It was a good thing Magna had him sit down, though not for the reason Magna had hoped. 

“What’s so funny?!” Magna demanded of the rest, a faint blush working its way upon his features. “I’m doing the right thing and stepping up and-”

“ _Magna_ .” Finral cut him off because truly, he couldn’t listen to any more of this. “I’m _fine_.” Of course, he wasn’t fine by any amount. But any other answer than that and Magna would insist or something stupid like that. So Finral continued what he had started with Vanessa. He lied. “You don’t have to do any of this. I am...” He was talking to Magna, Finral reminded himself, but he couldn’t help but stay locked on Yami’s gaze. His inattentive gaze, with so little care about the situation currently occuring. 

If he only knew…

Then what?

If he only knew, what would change? 

At the very least, Finral knew that if _Magna_ knew, he wouldn’t be proposing for one. Not when it was Captain Yami's baby that Finral was carrying. 

“It’ll be fine,” Finral repeated once more, curtly. His desire to go to his room and lay down only grew stronger by the moment. 

Vanessa frowned. "What about you?"

"I said-"

"You said 'it'll' be fine." She cut him off. "But will you be?"

"Yes." Finral lied once again. ( _I'm fine_ , he repeated it to himself like a mantra. Knowing if he stopped even for a moment he'd start to remember all the reasons he _wasn't_ ). 

Magna looked between them, confusion dawdled on his face. “But -” The beta pleaded and it was only because of the sincere and earnest look on his face that Finral didn’t feel like it was patronizing. “You shouldn’t be alone…”

The giggles stopped from Luck. Yami was the only one who’s laughter died so much more slowly, a note of confusion replaced in its absence. “Somethin goin on?” The words were spoken almost thoughtless. “You knocked up or somethin?” Yami asked in a way much like one would ask if there was more milk in the fridge. Like it was something insignificant. 

His heart stilted and his eyes locked with Yami. Langris was absolutely _right_ , Finral realized. He was really shit at keeping secrets. Or more accurately, he had no poker face at all. 

Yami blinked his eyes, the implication of Finral's silence sinking in. 

He knew. 

Everything fell silent around him. _Them_. At least, quiet to him. His guildmates were still talking but Finral had no idea what they were saying because nothing else _mattered_ except for Yami’s reaction. Comprehension slowly dawned on his face, and Finral felt his heart sinking in his chest. _Say something_ , Finral thought, _I need you to say something. Anything_. 

“You’re seriously knocked up?”

Ah, but that wasn’t Yami. It was Gauche, actually paying attention for the first time. Gordon mumbled something as well, but he didn’t hear the words. Though with that creepy smile on his face Finral doubted it to be anything good, Grey was stuttering something, Charmy didn’t bat an eye and he-- suddenly he felt _faint_.

Sorry. Scratch that. Not 'feel faint'. He _did_ faint. The world flashed in a moment of brightness and then flickered into darkness. Okay so maybe he hadn’t been lying when he had told Vanessa he felt sick. He just hadn't been knowing he was telling the truth. He had written it off as guilt and anxiety gnawing at him, when in fact it was _actual_ sickness. Hopefully only caused by the pregnancy and nothing actually serious. So... he wasn’t a total liar. More of an unknowing truther.

Yeah, unknowing truther sure felt better.

.

Finral awoke to a world a bit dimmer then he left it. The last time his eyes were open the sun had been out and bright, now it seemed to be at its setting. The sky wasn’t totally dark, but the blueness was gone. Replaced by a golden sunset. Or maybe he had slept through the night, and it was a golden dawn. 

_Somewhere_ , Finral realized, _someone was laughing at these thoughts_. He didn't know who, but someone. A Golden Dawn member, he would bet. 

“Finally done napping sleeping beauty?” 

Yami, ever the elegance with words. He was sitting beside Finral’s bed in a chair pulled up from the dining hall. 

“I literally _fainted_.” Finral retorted, annoyance simpering in his tone. Yami’s face of indifference didn’t help matters much. It was a bit odd having the chair in his room. Typically Yami would lay on the bed alongside him. On some occasions, they even slept side by side. Then again, in the past, Yami had only ever been in his room after they screwed. It’d been right for him to be on the bed in those situations, now was a bit... different. 

He expected something sarcastic or a witty comeback. He didn’t expect Yami’s expression to somber as it did. “Yea…” He said the single word with more focus than Finral had witnessed upon him in the last day. “You need to take better care of yourself. Especially with…” Awkwardly, Yami made a motion at his stomach. Well, it was more accurate to say it was at his baby. 

Finral sighed. The secret was officially out to the whole entire squad, and to Langris too. There was no one left to hide it from (except maybe his father, but he doubted such news would reach him all the way in Tota. At least he didn’t think it would. No way, right?). He sat up straight and threw his legs over the bed’s side so his feet could plant on the ground. It was silly and it was small, but sitting up straight made him feel less vulnerable. Right now, Finral needed to feel the very opposite of vulnerable. He needed strength, so he grasped for whatever he could. 

“I’m working on it.” Was his curt reply to Yami’s vague concern. Finral had never much given thought in the past to his own self-care. It never seemed like something necessary. Now with his life tied to another’s, all those little things he hadn’t thought about before suddenly felt very very big. 

There was a beat of silence between them. It felt unusual and stiff. It wasn’t a feeling Finral was used to being acquainted with Yami. He was used to _easiness_ . Being comfortable, being able to joke and not worry, not feeling so tightly wound. At this moment, however, he _wasn’t_ comfortable. He couldn’t joke, and he felt more worried than he knew what to do with. Finral wasn’t just tightly wound, he felt like he was going to _burst_. Or maybe collapse. Again. 

“So…” Yami prompted him as if Finral had any idea what he was supposed to say. 

For the record, he very much did not. 

“I’m pregnant.” He said. 

“You’re pregnant.” Yami echoed, unhelpfully. It wasn’t for confirmation, because Yami already knew. It was restating a known fact. It was rhetorical. 

His nervousness was swinging into annoyance. “Don't you have anything else to say to that?” He demanded, looking for something that meant _anything._ Was this Yami preparing some big speech about how he was going to step up and be the best dad ever? Or was this him trying to see how Finral felt about the situation? What was he trying to do? 

Yami sucked in a breath. “Guess that's how you knew you wouldn’t get pregnant before.” 

Before, as in, when they fucked in a _fucking_ bathroom. “Is that really all you have to say to me?!” Finral demanded. “Seriously Yami?”

 _Yami,_ not ‘Captain Yami’. This was one of those moments where they were Yami and Finral, not a Captain and his subordinate. Or even a magic knight and his ‘ride’. Yami and Finral. Whatever that meant. 

He shrugged. “Congratulations?” The words were offered half-heartedly.

Finral fumed. “Yami-”

“Do you think this means I’m gonna kick you out or something?” Yami interjected lazily as if it were a secondhand thought. “I’m not.” He continued as if it was at all helpful and then asked. “Is it a hormone thing?”

“What.” 

“All… this.” Yami gestured to him once more, this time to all of him instead of just his stomach. “The whole thing you’re doing right now, is that the hormones?”

Finral inhaled deeply. “You mean me being _angry_ ? You’re asking if my anger has to do with the hormones?” Yami nodded as if he had no inkling of the fury expressed in Finral’s tone. The spatial mage reminded himself to _stay calm_. If not for his own sake, then for the baby he was carrying. 

“No,” He clenched his fists. “My ‘being angry’ isn’t to do with the hormones Yami.”

Far more at ease than he should have been, Yami leaned back into the chair. “Then is a whole ‘angry at the world for being pregnant’ thing? If it’s something you don’t want-”

“ _No_ ,” Finral said, once again to the incorrect guess. “It isn’t that. I want the baby. My baby.” He paused, considering how to best say it. Yami didn’t seem to be picking up on it from the fact he was pregnant alone. Finral would need to say the words, he needed to say it out loud. “Not just my baby. It's not just..." Yami continued to look at him quizzically. "It's _our_ baby," Finral spoke. "Not just mine but our baby.” His heart skipped a beat. Admitting felt-- all of it, it felt scary. “It's _our_ baby, Yami.” 

Yami stared at him as if frozen on the spot. 

His expression… Finral was expecting a journey. He was expecting perhaps fear or dismay, maybe if he was lucky he’d get some excitement. He wasn’t expecting this _nothingness_. He sure as hell wasn’t expecting what Yami said next.

“Are you sure it’s mine?” 

Finral reminded himself once again to stay calm for his child’s sake. _Their_ child, his mind corrected weakly. “Yes. I’m sure.”

Yami… didn’t look convinced. Hell, he barely looked affected. He slowly rubbed the back of his neck and asked. “There must have been some others. Did you get a test done or something? You’re 100% percent sure?”

 _Wow_. That reaction was kind of devastating. Devastating to Finral, that is. Far more so than Finral had expected it to ever be. “Yes.” He said the word once again, feeling much like a scratched record playing on repeat. His tone was a bit weaker too, something more fragile than the anger he previously displayed. He looked Yami in the eyes, his gaze glassy. “It’s only ever been you.”

This time, Yami’s expression did shift. It wasn’t like any of the expressions Finral had imagined him to have in response to the news. Then again, it wasn't a response to his pregnancy. It was to the fact that he’d only ever slept with him. “Huh.” He said, and Finral felt like he wanted to throw up. For the first time, he knew it wasn’t from morning sickness. “I always thought…”

The world felt a bit stiller as Finral comprehend Yami’s meaning. “You thought I was sleeping with other people.”

Yami shrugged, seemingly not knowing what to say. Then, he did speak. Finral just wished he hadn't. “Omegas-”

 _Omegas_. As if that were an explanation for everything. Yeah, calmness was flying out the window. “You thought because I’m an omega I must be a whore.”

For the first time, Yami’s expression hardened. “I didn’t say that.”

“Sure felt like you did.”

His eyes bore into the alphas. For a moment, there was nothing but silence and furious eye contact. It was Yami who broke it. Looking elsewhere, anywhere else but at Finral. It was an unsaid sign of winning or losing an argument. The whole eye contact thing. Finral wasn’t often the winner of those. Then again, he didn’t enter them often. He didn’t often lose his temper often, and he practically never fought back. When Ledior Vaude called him ‘Less than nothing’, Finral didn’t fight back. He didn’t fight when his subordinates refused to take him seriously or when no one showed him any respect, he didn’t fight when Charmy stole his potatoes or when Luck zapped him. Finral wasn’t the type of person to fight back because he never considered himself _worth_ fighting for. 

It was another matter entirely when it came to being an omega. 

Treating him horribly because he was Finral? That was fine, even expected. Finral sort of deserved to be treated horribly. He was a coward. That was fair. Treating him in any way different because he was an _omega_ ? Whether it be kindly, cruelly, rudely, politely, treating him like something fragile or something they wanted to break. _That_. That was different. 

“You _are_ the father.” Finral reiterated because it needed to be said. It needed to dawn on him. He needed to see the look in his eyes that meant Yami _got it_. That he understood what this meant. Finral needed to see that look. 

He didn’t. Yami didn’t even move to reconnect their eyes, continuing his avoidance. “I’m not going to Bond with you.” _What_? “Or marry you. Or whatever.” 

_Or whatever_ . “Or what- _what_?” He balked. “I don’t expect that from you-”

“That's good because it’s not going to happen.”

It took a moment for those words to sink in and Finral to feel the rip into his heart from them. A moment of heated silence followed with Finral staring furiously and Yami not bothering to glance in his direction. He’d never wanted so much to be someone’s center of attention. In fact, he typically hated having direction set on him because Finral didn’t know what to do with it. Right now he'd give anything for Yami to fucking _care_. 

“Do you really expect that from me?” He seethed. “That I’d want to Bond or marry you... because I’m pregnant?”

Yami’s gaze remained fixed on the window. “Nobles typically expect that sort of thing.”

It felt redundant for Finral to say he was disowned. It also felt redundant for him to point out how he was sure Yami didn’t mean noble, but _omega_.

The silence felt thick in the air. It was uncomfortable and Finral hated it. It wasn’t something he ever had associated with Yami before. He hated that part too. Finally, he said this. “You don’t have to worry about it.”

Yami’s gaze cut into him. for the first time showing an emotion that _wasn’t_ indifference. “Finral.” Once more, he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I didn’t mean-” 

“No, I’m pretty sure I know what you mean.” He interrupted, his voice colder than Finral thought himself capable of. “Besides, I was talking about my expectations. You don’t have to worry about them. There aren’t any left.” 

Far be it for him to expect Yami to _care_ , to want to step up and be a dad. Having expectations of people was a fool’s errand, he realized. Finral couldn’t afford to be a fool anymore, not when he was a parent. 

“I actually... I think I have to leave now.”

“I…” Yami’s tone was something softer than before. Not enough for Finral to listen, but enough for him to notice. “You don’t have to go.” It looked like there was more Yami wanted to say, it was written all over his face. Finral was usually good at judging that. He was good at talking to people in general, he was typically good with _Yami_ especially. Then again, any sense of ‘in general’ was something different now. 

So Finral waited, just for a moment. He didn’t prompt, it wasn’t his duty to prompt. He gave Yami the moment to say something, _anything_ , anything at all would make things better than his blaring silence. 

When nothing came, he began to prepare a portal. 

“Finral,” Yami said his name, but no other words came out. Just like always, _nothing._

“I’ll… “ What else was there to say? “I’ll be back, I will. But right now… I… " Somberly, he said. "I'll see you, Yami.” 

If Yami did reply, it wasn’t one Finral heard. The portal was already closed behind him. 

.

He hadn’t given too much thought to where he wanted to go when he conjured the portal. Finral had access to many destinations within the Clover Kingdom and a little bit yonder. It was one of the best parts of being a spatial mage. If he didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t.

It wasn’t forever, Finral reminded himself. He was a Black Bull, always. Even if things didn’t get better with Yami he still had so many people he considered family in the squad. Yami… Yami was complicated. With so much experience with the man, Finral knew logically that wherever those statements came from, there wasn’t bad intent behind them. Perhaps stupidity. But not… cruelty. 

They did hurt though. Knowing they weren’t intended to didn’t change the fact that they _hurt_. 

He would come back to the Black Bulls in a few days. In the meantime, Finral needed to cool off. There was a solid moment where he wasn’t even sure where he was. He hadn’t given a solid focus in the moment of opening a portal, just that he wanted to be anywhere else than in a room with Yami Sukehiro. 

Apparently, anywhere else was his last known big jump. The town near the Golden Dawn. The one where he, Asta, and Noelle had gotten lunch. Not the one attacked by bandits. Speaking of which, he _was_ a bit hungry. 

Part of taking care of himself was consuming water and food. Now that he was pregnant, taking care of himself was something actually important (a voice in his head spoke about how it should have been important before, Finral respectfully ignored that voice). 

The place they’d gone for lunch was closed at such a late hour, all decent dining establishments were. Which meant going to the _indecent_ ones. 

They were the type Finral typically avoided. He wasn’t an avid drinker in general, and he didn’t like being around drunk alphas especially. It was pretty much the worst place for an omega, especially one who had no fighting prowess. 

It wasn’t guaranteed to happen, of course. It was just far more likely than Finral wished it would be. But, he needed somewhere to collect his thoughts and he was thirsty too. Plus he didn’t have much on him in ways of money, and those indecent establishments were typically cheaper as well.

Feeling he had little choice, Finral trudged along. His eyes set across the town, looking for lights on in the many establishments. He just needed to follow the light and then- there it was. A dingy little bar. Perfect.

Just… perfect. 

.

So this was where he found himself. Knowing completely how he came to be alone in the bar and wishing he was anywhere else. He _could_ have been anywhere else, technically. But he already felt pretty drained from his initial portal, and he had fainted before. The only thing worse than fainting itself was fainting when he was _alone_. The last thing Finral wanted was to wake up in a stranger’s home. Plus, knowing his luck a lot worse would end up happening. 

_Yep_ , no more portals for him. Just food and scouting out a nice inn to say out for a few nights. Also, hoping he had enough leftover money to cover it. If worse came to worse he could risk it and open a _small_ portal to reach into his room and grab more of his pay. Then again, Yami had been in there last. It was a ridiculous thought for the man to still be occupying the room. 

Finral didn’t want to risk it anyway. 

_God_ , he was ridiculous. 

So far he’d ordered a simple glass of water, and was still debating if he should bother getting food at all. Their food may have been cheap, but it probably tasted awful. His stomach probably wouldn’t be able to, well, stomach it. Or maybe it was his baby who wouldn’t like it. Either way, this wasn’t the place he was getting food. That was something Finral would figure out later (there were a lot of things he was waiting to figure out later). 

He was grateful the bartender hadn’t hassled him with questions, Finral was tired of people's questions. He was simply happy to enjoy his water and decide his plans for the rest of the night and the next few days as well.

Unfortunately, the world didn’t like him having any sort of happiness. 

“What do we have here?” The alpha slurred a bit, he’d already drunk quite a bit Finral would bet. “A pretty lil omega just _waiting_ for my company.” 

Finral wished it was easy to forget there really were alphas in the world who only saw omegas as a tool for their own pleasure. Too bad that he ran into these types of alphas almost every day. Elitist, sexist, old fashioned, and arrogant. Maybe it was due to what had happened with Yami, or maybe it was because of the child he was carrying, it could have even been because of his overuse of magic. Whatever the cause might have been, despite his annoyance with their behavior, Finral wasn’t in the mood for a fight. Even if it was defending omegas was one of the only things he typically _did_ fight for. 

He sighed. Retreating a bit into himself with his posture, trying to alert the alpha to the fact he had no interest whatsoever. The message… wasn’t sinking in. 

The alpha slung his arm around Finral’s shoulders far too casual for the likes of a stranger. Instantly, Finral stiffened, annoyance at the situation turning into panic. With the arm of the alpha around him, he felt trapped. Before he’d been uncertain about using his magic on the grounds of overexerting. Now he was worried that he already _had_ overexerted himself and couldn't use his magic at all. He did feel pretty drained as it was, he’d just written it off before he freakin passed out. 

What had he been thinking? Now, this alpha had his arm around him, no one else at the bar was batting an eye, and Finral--- his magic wasn’t reliable. Usually, it wasn't reliable in a fight, but at this moment, it wasn't even reliable to _save_ himself. On top of which, what if he pushed himself too much and it hurt the baby?

 _Fuck_ . He should have gone somewhere safer, or even hulled up in his room. Maybe he would have remained there if Yami hadn’t been occupying the space and his explicit urge to _not_ be near Yami after what had occurred. 

Briefly, Finral wondered if he could blame Yami for this. The man had technically driven him away. Then again, _naw_. His self-loathing was a bit too strong for it to let Yami take any of the blame he could foist onto himself. 

At least that was one strong thing about him. His self-loathing. Finral didn't know if he should laugh or cry. 

“Pardon me,” Said a familiar voice. _No way_ , Finral thought, only to remember they _were_ close to the Golden Dawn. Having walked in during his panic, William Vangeance stood with confidence. “Sorry to intrude, but I don’t think his being alone is an invitation for you to invade his personal space.” The Captain of the Golden Dawn said without a flinch or even _attitude_ in his tone. He seemed so polite, but also unwavering and an all-around _badass_. “And his being an omega is certainly not an allowance for you to do whatever you’d like to him.” While remaining polite, this time his voice dripped with more threat upon it. _Stop or I’ll stop you_.

Relief flooded his chest when the alpha backed off muttering about how he ‘didn’t mean anything by it’ and how it was an ‘overreaction’. All the kind of things fuckers like him typically said to excuse their own awful behavior. 

Captain Vangeance approached. “I hope I didn’t overstep by intervening.” 

Instantly Finral shook his head. “Oh no- _no_ , that was--- I should be thanking you for that!” An awkward pause commenced, with him adding. “So... thank you. For… uh, that.” _Though_ . Finral thought with a sense of guilt, _he shouldn’t have allowed the situation to escalate as it did in the first place._

Without Vangeance’s interference, that alpha could have done something regrettable. Sure he’d only put his arm around him, but… but there was the intent for _more_. The type of more that Finral currently lacked the strength or ability to stop. 

With all the grace expected of the Captain of the Golden Dawn, Vangeance took a seat beside him. Despite the mask upon his face, Finral witnessed the concern sorted into his gaze. At least, he hoped it was concern. If it were pity, he’d probably puke again. 

“No need for gratitude,” Captain Vangeance dismissed. “It shouldn't be something to be grateful for. It should be common behavior to respect another person, not something special in need of thanks. So, please do hold your gratitude Mr. Roulacase.” 

It was a line of thought Finral appreciated more than he knew how to put into words. The idea that it’d be common practice was to treat others equally rather than their current reality of elitism and sexism. Though, one thing did take him a bit by surprise. “You… know who I am?” He’d expect all the Captains to recognize his face given the amount of time he spent chauffering Yami around. His name on the other hand was something else entirely. 

Vangeance gave a calm, if not amused, response to his bewilderment. “I try to know who everyone is. As I said before, everyone deserves fair treatment.” No wonder this man was so well respected, he was pretty amazing. “Plus…” the man lightly chuckled, something Finral didn’t think he’d heard him do before. “It doesn’t hurt you’re my Vice Captain’s older brother, and Yami-” He stopped himself. “Is something the matter?” 

Once again, Finral thought of his horrible poker face. At the mere mention of Yami’s name his whole entire expression dropped into something else. Something far more somber. William was fast to pick up on it too and had instantly dropped the sentence in reaction. 

“Ah I- uh…” How did one go about explaining the situation he’d landed himself in? Finral inhaled deeply. “I’m not happy with Yami right now.” He said, trying to simplify it as much as he could without revealing too much. 

“Is it about your pregnancy?” 

“Wha- _how-_ are they already talking about it?” Panic flooded his chest. “Does the whole kingdom know?!” Oh God, that was the last thing he needed. Not that the whole kingdom knew who he was, he wasn’t of that importance. But the magic knights… he made himself memorable as the Black Bull’s pack mule. There would be talk, and there would be gossip. Finral was dreading it.

Vangeance stared at him for a few moments as if slowly registering all Finral’s fears. “I… don’t know if the whole kingdom knows.” He said. “Personally, I found out through your brother, and Yuno as well.” Oh. Well. That made _sense_ . Ish. It was kind of nice that Langris spoke about him to his Captain, Finral hoped it wasn’t all bad things (he didn’t expect _nice_ , just... not all bad). Yuno was a bit more surprising given he didn’t know the young alpha all too well. 

“Ah… well. Yeah.” Briefly, Finral wondered if it was too invasive to ask what Langris had exactly said. Lucky for him, Vangeance seemed to be already picking up on his concern. 

“Your brother is concerned for you,” Vanegence told him. 

Finral perked up, unable to help it. “He said that?”

A chuckle commenced. “Not in so many words but… yes. He cares far more than he would be willing to admit.” 

That felt… nice. Even if this whole day had been something of a total crap show, at least his brother cared. Well, Langris cared about his _baby_ . Which wasn’t a bad thing, he reminded himself, even if it wasn’t about _Finral_ himself. 

“You look conflicted.” Captain Vangeance noted, not unkindly. 

Finral grimaced. He appreciated the concern, and he appreciated the listening but- it wasn’t right of him to foist his own problems onto another person. Especially not someone who had the responsibility of an entire squad. 

God, _Yami_ had the responsibility of an entire squad. The _craziest_ squad. Finral didn’t know if this was a pro or con in the role of fatherhood. 

“Now you look ill,” The Captain added, worry sprinkled into his tone. 

“I…” Finral grimaced. “I appreciate your concern but I'm... I'm fine.” His lip trembled a bit because quite honestly, everything was kind of _horrible_ at the moment. Appreciation was the best he could offer without crying his eyes out. Fuck, h e didn’t know what Yami wanted to do about the baby or if he wanted to be a parent at all. Given his prior reaction, probably not. Did this mean he didn't want the baby around? Did it mean he didn't want _Finral_ around? The Black Bulls had no idea Yami was the dad so he was pretty much lying to them, and God only knows what Yami had said about him leaving as he had. Hopefully, it wouldn't be anything too terrible. Or even worse, the _truth_. That would be worse than any lie or vagueness Yami would offer. There was also Langris. Very selfishly, Finral knew, Langris cared about his child but didn’t care about _him_. It was so horribly selfish of him to be hurt by that, he knew. 

Thinking about these things only made him feel worse. Unwillingly, he began to tremble in his emotion. Sorrow flooded his senses and the fear of the future weighed down on his shoulders. He began to _shake_ his resolve to keep himself calm falling apart at the seams. 

“Mr. Roulacase,” Captain Vangeance said, concern evident in his tone. “I’m aware I’m overstepping. However, you are alone and you’re pregnant. I don’t feel _comfortable_ leaving you alone. I do apologize if my presence or questions are upsetting you but I don’t intend to leave.”

In all fairness to Finral. He was never great on the ‘holding in his emotions’ thing, even before he was pregnant. 

So, with only that little bit of prompting. All his walls, well. They crumbled. A wet sobbed lurched from his throat despite his strong attempts to prevent it. Finral lifted his hands in an instant to hide his face, ashamed of himself and his tears. He shouldn’t be sobbing to someone who was practically a stranger in a bar he didn’t even know the name of, in the middle of nowhere. “I’m sorry,” He whimpered under his hands. “I’m-- I’m so _so_ sorry,” He hiccuped, hand trembling as he attempted to remain hidden behind them. “You came out to have a drink and now you’re saddled with me- “ He could feel the other patrons staring, and with their burning judgment. It made Finral only feel worse. “I’m such an inconvenience, I'm so sorry.” 

“Why in the world would you think that?” Captain Vangeance asked him, a genuine curiosity in tone. 

Unable to pull his hands away from his face, far too ashamed of crying and unwilling to part with the only shield he had. Finral responded in a small whimper. “I… I _am_ .” Despite his attempts to keep it at bay, another sob sprouted from his throat. “I’m always causing problems for everyone, being a coward and running away.” He was literally doing that, right now, _running away_. “Why else do you think Langris hates me?”

Vangeance laughed. He _laughed_. Flabbergasted, Finral peeked behind his fingers to see the man looking at him like he was a lunatic. 

“Why would you think your brother hates you?” 

“Because he…” Finral was pretty sure Langris had said implied it many times, but as he thought back his memory couldn't latch onto an occasion where the words were actually uttered and confirmed. “Because I abandoned him. Because I wasn’t a good big brother. Because I---” He couldn’t hide behind his hands anymore, they were trembling. “I'm not a good big brother, and-- and what if I’m not a good _parent_? I want to do right by my child but what if _I’m_ not right?” he cried, deciding to bury his head under his arms on the counter instead of behind his hands. 

It wasn't a fear he had dwelled on just yet. It'd been in the back of his mind, gently hiding. Now it was tap-dancing on his head and heart with a hammer. There were so many fears bundled up within him, Finral felt like he was about to fall apart. _Literally_. Just unravel into pieces and look like the mess he actually was. Maybe then all his problems would dissolve. After all, there would be no one left after they saw Finral in his true form. An unreliable cowardly runaway. That was all he was. Good for nothing but a pack mule. Soon enough, he wouldn't even be able to do that properly. 

(There was a voice in his head that whispered _You're spiraling_. But it was hard to hear that whisper when the other voices were reminding him of what a failure he was in their screams). 

“But,” Captain Vangeance said gently, a hand softly touching upon his shoulder with intent of comfort. “Just for a moment, consider. What if you _are_ right? What if you _will_ be a good parent? You obviously care,” He remarked. “That in itself is worthy of being proud of.” 

_Pride_? Finral didn’t even know what such a thing felt like. 

“Not only that…” The Captain continued. “I just told you your brother was concerned for you. Did you… not hear that?”

Finral didn’t lift his head, but he did give a stiff turn of it. “No, he’s concerned for my baby. Which he should be, with me as the parent.” He inhaled deeply, guild once again plaguing him. “I’m sorry Captain Vangeance, you- you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll…” His stomach churned. “I’ll go back to the Black Bull’s base. You don’t have to worry.”

“You could call me William.” _Wha_... _?_? “In fact, I’d rather that you did.” The man continued. “I would like to call you Finral as well, is that alright?”

“I- uh… yes.” his voice was something tiny in response to the confounding words. 

“Finral,” William addressed him. “I think you’re overthinking quite a bit. Your brother is concerned with _you_ . Not just your child, but his _brother_.”

“But-”

“How do I know?” Admittedly, it was the question Finral was preparing to ask. Less ask, actually. More counter. There was something of a sparkle in his eyes as William spoke. “I just…" Despite the somber air around them, he smiled. "You'll just have to trust me when I say I know. And if you don't... well, the only one who could prove it is Langris.” _Langris_. There wasn't much of a moment to think further about his brother as William went on. “As for not being a good parent. In my experience, as long as you love your child and try your hardest for them, that's already a good start.” 

Finally, Finral peaked his head up once again. His eyes were still glassy and his voice was still shaky. “Were… were your parents like that?”

William laughed. Hysterically. “Ah no, not at all, in fact, you're far better than them and your child isn’t even born yet.” He smiled, and there was something... _strong_ about it. Not in the force of the smile, but the ability to hold it true despite the pain he felt. Finral envied such an ability. “I understand pride isn’t something you bear familiarity to. But I would encourage you to give it a try.”

Finral grimaced. “I really am sorry… I ruined your night.”

The other mage shook his head. “Please don’t be. It would have been far worse if something _had_ happened to you, and I had to deal with your brother denying he was worried about you but refusing to actually check on you.” 

Despite himself, Finral laughed at that. 

“Now, don’t feel obligated to say yes.” William began. “But by the look on your face when I mentioned Yami... and when you spoke about going back- … did something occur?”

This time, much to Finral’s relief, he didn’t fall apart in sobs. Not to say he kept a good poker face because _God knows_ he had a horrible one. It was more of a stiff pain, trembling right beneath the surface. “Yes... It did.”

“I see,” William replied, much to Finral's relief. Respecting his lack of explanation and not pushing for more than Finral was comfortable to share. “Then I suppose you’ll need somewhere to stay for the night. Or at least, however long you need.”

“I'm sorry, w-what? Are you... ?"

“Finral," He smiled kindly. "If you’re comfortable with it, I’d like to invite you to stay at the Golden Dawn’s base. At least until things at the Black Bulls are settled.”

It took a long moment for Finral to comprehend those words. “I…” For the first time in almost 24 hours, Finral felt like he could breathe. “If my brother is alright with it, then yes.”

William nodded without falter. “He will be.”

Finral frowned. “You seem _really_ sure of that.”

“Yes," The other replied without hesitation. "I am.” 

Despite the sorrow and doom, he had been riddled with, Finral couldn’t deny the other man’s presence had calmed him greatly. “Thank you, William.” He spoke, using his name for the first time. 

Unlike before when he’d dismissed Finral’s gratitude, this time William responded. “You’re welcome, Finral.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woza so that was a lot of angst and emotion. I do hope it wasn’t too OOC, I always fear that when I’m writing any type of argument or emotional scenes bc those types of things bring out a lot of emotion in characters.
> 
> Also as a sidenote, ya’ll should know that what I had written down in my storyboard ended up so different when I was writing it. The fight between Yami and Finral was very different, more yelling and more angry. This one just turned out really really sad.
> 
> Yami isn’t a bad guy, I promise! He doesn’t have bad intentions, and there are reasons he said the things he did. There are also reasons he didn’t say the things he should have. He’s a lot like Finral in that he sucks at communication.
> 
> Finral: *knowing he has to be safe and smart bc he is currently pregnant*  
> Also Finral: *decides to go to a bar*
> 
> Haha, this was NOT in the game plan. Because it’s thrown out the window now, I’ll tell you my original vision for the bar scene. It was a small reveal of William being an omega as well, and just a nice camaraderie. William being an omega didn’t make it in, but it might come up in the next chapter. Just not in the ‘Oh Finral is shocked’ way I had initially thought of.
> 
> Finral falling apart into sobs was not scripted, nor was William being such a good dude and badass and all that fucking awesomeness. I was planning their camaraderie but the fucking friendship that sprung to life was a shocker for me. I’m def adding them to the tags, and potentially Langris and William in the next chapter if I end up accidentally diving into that relationship as well. I do think, at least in this work, they have a strong relationship. He’s not William’s vice cap for nothin.
> 
> Yet again the chapter did not end where I intended it to. Honestly wtf Alana. BUT, I do think there’s a mighty chance this story might extend into four chapters (or maybe five) rather than three. I know what I want to establish by the end of the story, and the things I want to happen. But more things keep happening along the way (oops) so it’s making it a bit longer than I planned lol. oops.


	3. forget what we're told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to eclipsingbinary for beta'ing!!!

Finral was out of juice, and unlike other times where he ‘surpassed his limit’, he was less willing to risk such a thing. Especially since he was pretty furious at the harbinger of that phrase. He was also flat out  _ exhausted _ . The day in itself had wiped him far more than Finral would have initially surmised. The pregnancy itself, the bandits, Magna’s ‘proposal’, and of course… well, you know who. 

The moment he and William left the bar Finral felt ready to drop to his feet. Fatigue hit him like a punch to his gut, and he felt the urge to sleep overpowering. William Vangeance was the leader of one of the most elite squads the Clover Kingdom had to offer, so it was fairly obvious he was slowing himself down for the pregnant omega’s sake. Finral doubted he would have been able to keep up had William gone at his typical pace.

“I have to admit,” Finral spoke, trying to upstart some conversation to break the night’s silence. “I would never have pictured you in that kind of bar.” The seedy kind, with seedy people running it and seedy patrons. 

William offered him a look of bemusement. “ _ You _ were in that bar, Finral.”

Finral sputtered. “I uh, well,  _ yes _ but I…” He grimaced. “I make bad choices sometimes.” Actually, a lot of the time. Something he would need to take more into consideration now that he had someone else to care for. It was hard to break old habits though. 

The Captain chuckled. “Who’s to judge what choices are good or not? It led to me running into you, so I personally appreciate it.”

Again and again, Finral found himself shocked at the wisdom of the Golden Dawn’s Captain. Especially compared to his own. Not even including the day’s events, Yami was never one to offer such words of wisdom. His wisdom was the same thing over again ‘surpass your limits’. Finral hated the fondness he had for the stupid phrase. 

“To answer your question,” William resumed. “The owner owes me a debt, and instead of payment he offered ‘free drinks for life’.”

Finral made a face. “Is it really free if you get sick from the water?” The place did  _ not _ look sanitary. 

William laughed. “Perhaps not. But it’s a nice offer of escape when I need it, however seldom that may be.” 

The urge to escape was something Finral was uncomfortably familiar with. Though his escape typically was ‘running away’, while William’s was ‘taking the single night off’. He was trying to change it, he was! Finral planned to go back to the Black Bulls, he wasn’t running away he was taking some  _ time _ . He reminded himself of this whenever he felt a surge of guilt for not even saying a ‘goodbye’ or telling the others he’d be somewhere safe. 

Finral was preparing to respond in agreement before a small yawn slipped past his lips.”Sorry!” He said, before an even bigger yawn expelled from him (much to his embarrassment). 

William gave him a look. “Are you apologizing for being tired?”

“Uh…” Well, when he put it like  _ that _ it sounded pretty bad. It wasn’t just that though, there was more to it. “I just meant… I’m sorry for slowing you down. You would already be back by now if it wasn’t for me, and I can’t even make a portal right now which kinda makes it worse.”

“Finral,” William interjected, halting the spatial mage in his tracks. “I do not accept your apology.”

“O… okay.”

William offered him a kind smile. “You’re allowed to be as slow as you’d like and as tired as you’d like. The only thing I’ll object to is you needlessly stressing yourself over guilt when you have done nothing wrong.”

“Oh.” Wait,  _ not  _ the right words. “Thank you.” Thanking people was important, Finral knew. Truly, he was grateful. More than he could put into words, William had truly saved his ass tonight. Typically, however, he was a bit too busy apologizing to thank anyone. 

“You’re welcome,” William responded with a type of confidence Finral could never dream of possessing. “I must admit, we are still an unfortunate distance from headquarters.” He thought for a moment. “You should sit.” He gestured toward a nearby bench. “Give me just a moment and I’ll join you.” 

It wasn’t so much as ominous as it was curious, but Finral saw no harm in the action and obliged. Sitting was far more of a relief than he was used to (he was used to having so much more energy than this). 

Finral would be ashamed to admit he drifted off for a few moments upon sitting down. His eyes were heavy, and his body was craving slumber. Continuously, he blinked his eyes rapidly trying to remain awake. 

William approached. “Someone from my squad will be meeting us here to bring us back.”

“Huh?”

“I believe you may know him, Klaus Lunettes?” 

Confusion slandered upon Finral’s face. “Y- yes I know him but-” Suddenly, he remembered William’s words about apologizing without need, the guilt he bore being fruitless. So Finral restrained from the reflex, and instead offered the words. “Thank you.” He felt like a broken record with those words, the second time he’d felt that way in this day. The early word was  _ ‘Yes’  _ induced by Yami’s disbelief. However, this set of words were far more pleasant than the previous. Then again, that was a pretty low bar. 

His words were met with a nod. “You could get some sleep in the meantime while we wait.”

“Are you sure?” It felt kind of rude to go to sleep with William right there. 

The man nodded once more. “I’m sure.”

Hesitantly, Finral allowed his eyes to shut. He hadn’t been planning to truly fall asleep, he really hadn’t. But it appeared nothing was going according to plan for him lately. The moment his eyes shut, the world fell away.

.

Finral woke up to the bright morning’s light. It was quiet. Quiet was not something he was used to. What he  _ was _ used to, was being awoken by a loud bang, or Vanessa drunkenly singing, or Asta being loud as he did his chores, Luck and Magna fighting or competing, or even Noelle yelling at Asta. The quiet should have been welcoming. 

It… wasn’t. There was a lack of comfort without the familiar noise. Knowing he’d be unable to fall asleep soundly once more, Finral arose. 

The room was kept well, a guest bedroom if he’d ever seen one. Very clean and organized, the blankets had been quite warm as well and the bed was plush. The Golden Dawn really knew how to do it up. 

Finral didn’t even know if the Black Bulls  _ had _ a guest room. 

He didn’t remember laying down though, Finral realized. Embarrassment surged through him upon realizing someone must have  _ carried  _ him here. That hadn’t been the plan. He hadn’t had much of any plan, but it hadn’t been that! He had planned to ask Langris if his presence was acceptable before staying whatsoever. 

Finral sighed. Hoping his brother wouldn’t hate him too much if he hadn’t wanted Finral actually being here. It was only one night so far, he supposed, and sleeping at the Golden Dawn was far better than some random inn. 

Scanning the room, Finral found his shoes neatly tucked against the wall. He grimaced at his rumpled clothes. He really should have packed a bit more before running off as he did. Trying to straighten himself out the best he could, Finral slipped into his shoes and quietly slipped out of the room. 

He needed to find William and figure out what came next. He also needed to find  _ Langris _ . But frankly, Finral was a bit scared to ask Langris without William by his side vouching for him. The idea of his brother’s rejection was far too stinging for Finral to face on his own. 

The only problem was that the Golden Dawn’s base was  _ big _ , and Finral had no idea where he was going. It was still fairly early so he crept around, careful not to make loud steps and awaken others. It was only when he spotted a familiar face lounging in what seemed to be a kitchen, that Finral finally spoke. “Yuno?”

The young alpha was in the midst of making coffee. “Good morning,” Yuno offered politely. Faintly Finral was reminded of Asta who always greeted him with a ‘good morning’ and was also such an early riser. It must have been a Hage thing. 

“G-good morning.” He responded nervously whilst Yuno poured his steaming drink into a mug and soon took a small sip. 

“Slept well?” Yuno asked, and Finral nodded. “I saw Klaus carry you in last night. You seemed dead to the world.”

Finral let out a sheepish laugh. “Y-yeah… I was pretty tired.”  _ Wait _ . “Klaus carried me?!” He flushed at the idea of it. He knew Klaus but not well. He would have to apologize to him later for that. 

“Don’t stress about it,” Yuno assured him, adept at noticing his distress. “Klaus is freakishly strong, I’m certain he didn’t mind.” 

Finral exhaled in relief of not having been a burden. “Thank you.” 

Yuno nodded, giving him a hard look.  _ Yuno knew _ Finral reminded himself. He’d been there when Asta had screamed the news upon the battlefield and Langris had found as well. Still, that look was a bit unnerving. 

Unable to stand the awkwardness, Finral asked. “Did I do something wrong… ?” 

The young man sipped from his drink, which only further unnerved the omega. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” Yuno grimaced. “You caused me some grief is all.”

_ Oh _ . Finral frowned. “Did I really make Langris that angry?”

“What?”

“Langris,” Finral repeated. “Did I make him that angry with my uh… news?”

“N- well,  _ yes _ , but that wasn’t what I was referring to.”

Finral wanted to inquire further on what  _ had _ infuriated his brother, but first, he wanted to know how he caused Yuno some ‘grief’. “Then what was it?” 

Yuno sighed. “Not a word of this to Asta,” He warned. “But before learning it was you, I had heard a… rumor, that there was a pregnant omega in the Black Bulls. Just not… who.”

Oh. 

“You thought Asta was-” Realization struck Finral in an instant. “Have you two-”

“ _ Not _ your business,” Yuno replied sharply, refusing to aid an answer. 

Finral gave a light chuckle. “As long as you two are being safe, I won’t judge.” But he  _ would _ collect the money for the bet he and Vanessa had. 

Yuno offered him a light smile. “You’re one to speak about being safe.”

“ _ Ouch _ .” 

“The truth hurts.”

.

Yuno really was a good kid, the two had a conversation for most of the early morning. Finral always knew he and Asta were besotted with each other, he just had never really seen how smitten Yuno was under the cool exterior. The way he spoke about Asta was something special. Finral would have killed to have someone love him half as much Yuno loved Asta. 

He just wasn’t that lucky. 

“I know Captain Vangeance won’t mind having you here for as long as you need,” Yuno assured him. 

Finral shook his head. “If Langris doesn’t want me here though, I can’t stay.”

“Screw Langris.”

“ _ Yuno _ .” 

Yuno rolled his eyes at Finral’s reprimanding tone. “You already sound like a parent.” He jested. Finral flushed at the words.  _ Did he sound like a parent _ ? Was that was something he was capable of? It was a nice thought, made him feel warm. 

“You think so?”

Realizing the change in the spatial mage’s tone, Yuno gave a solemn nod. “Yes.” Then he added. “And you shouldn’t worry about Langris.”

“He’s my brother-”

“I meant,” Yuno corrected himself. “He won’t throw you out.”

Finral’s gaze fell downcast. “You don’t know that.”

“You’re his brother,” Yuno stated like it  _ meant  _ something, then he continued on to say, “He’s pretty terrible.”

“ _ Yuno- _ ” 

“But he’s not heartless.” Yuno seemed confident in the words, something Finral wasn’t much acquainted with. Sipping his coffee, the wind mage muttered under his breath. “He’s actually kind of a headache about this.”

“Sorry, what did you say-”

“Yuno!” Ah, there was Mimosa. “Someone is here to see you.” Her tone was suggestive and teasing. 

_ Someone _ . That obviously meant Asta. Finral a tingle of nervousness at the thought of his squadmate. He couldn’t imagine what Yami would have told the rest of them. Yami didn’t sugarcoat things typically, and the Black Bulls had a habit of…. was over-worrying a word? 

“I’ll be right back,” Yuno told him.

“ _ Mhm _ ,” Finral responded with a teasing tone. 

Yuno glared. “Shut up.”

Finral only laughed. 

Taking one last sip from his mug, Yuno placed it down on the counter as he left the room. Finral could have sworn he saw a tinge of blush on the boy’s cheeks.

“They really are cute, huh?” Mimosa spoke to him. Finral didn’t know the beta girl too well, but he liked her well enough from what time he did spend with her. 

He nodded. “Yeah, I think so too.”

Mimosa stepped into the kitchen, leaning against the wall with her hands folded behind her back. “Congratulations.” She offered. 

“Ah… Thank you.”

She gave him a look. “That didn’t sound too enthusiastic.” 

“Oh-ah- it’s not that I’m not!” Finral defended, sputtering to explain himself. “I am  _ very  _ excited about the baby!” He didn’t mean to yell so loud in the morning, but he felt passionate about the words. “The baby isn’t the … the difficult part.” 

Understanding crossed her face. “The father?”

Finral nodded. “The father.”

“I see.” 

It was kind of funny if he were being honest. The fact that not a single person was aware of the fact that the father of his child was none other than the Captain of the Black Bulls himself, Yami Sukehiro. It wasn’t even a viable thought to most. No one had a single damn clue. And there was a good (sad) chance it would stay that way. If Yami didn’t want to be a dad, the dad, it would. No one would need to ever know. 

“Don’t worry too much about him,” Mimosa told him. “You have two whole squads who are gonna love that baby very much.”

Finral felt his cheeks burn. “Oh um, well, that’s kind of you to say-  _ wait _ .” He realized. “You said two.”

Mimosa nodded. “You’re Langris’ brother. That makes you an honorary Golden Dawn member.”

“I don’t think it works like that.”

“In this situation, it  _ does _ .” Mimosa stepped forward. “Plus, we’d never hear the end of it from-”

“What the hell are you doing?!”

Both turned their head at the furious voice that came with the young man who entered the room with fury in his gaze. 

“Speak of the devil.” Mimosa mused. 

“I um,” Finral tripped over his words. “I- well, William- er, Captain Vangeance offered to let me stay here for a few days, but I- I told him I wouldn’t if you weren’t okay with it! But then I ended up falling asleep here anyway- but it was only for one night and if you want me to leave-”

“That wasn’t what I asked,” Langris interjected Finral’s ramble, his voice stone cold. 

“I uh… wha…?”

“I asked,” He spoke slowly. “What are you  _ doing _ ? Not what you’re doing ‘here’, but what are you doing with that?!” Aggressively Langris pointed to the empty coffee mug Yuno had left behind. “Who the  _ hell _ gave my pregnant brother coffee?!?!” He demanded loudly, he probably wanted the whole base to hear him (and they probably did).

“Um, Langris-”

“Was it you?” Langris demanded of the nearest applicable victim. “Royalty or not, I will not allow-”

Mimosa  _ giggled _ in light of Langris’ threats. She was a brave girl, Finral would give her that. Further infuriated, Langris raised his voice. “This is a serious matter-!”

“It’s a  _ silly _ matter,” Mimosa interrupted. “Both because coffee isn’t life-threatening, and it isn’t Finral’s.”

Langris stared at her. “What.”

Giggling further, Mimosa continued. “It isn’t Finral’s. That’s Yuno’s mug.” Smugly, she added. “Asta got it for him, and he goes feral if anybody else uses it.”

Langris had the decency to look embarrassed while Mimosa laughed at him. “I’ll see you later Finral,” She told him kindly with a light wave of her hand. “You too Langris.” She told the embarrassed Vice Captain before turning heel and exiting the kitchen. 

“Ah… Langris?”

“Not a word.” His brother warned him. The only thing was, Finral had a lot more than just a ‘word’ he wanted to say. He had  _ so  _ many questions. Langris seemed angry, but not… at him? Which was odd in itself. William’s words from the night before rang in Finral’s ears. He had said Langris was concerned, that he actually cared. Could that maybe be true?

Finral could only take the silence for so long before he broke it. “Why is the idea of me having coffee a bad thing?” It wasn’t the first question he wanted to ask him, but it seemed light enough not to threaten impending doom. Not only that, but Finral  _ was _ curious. 

Langris was silent for a moment before he answered (there was some caution in his tone, Finral noted). “Caffeine during pregnancy is not healthy. High amounts of caffeine have been linked to problems with a baby's growth and development.”

It sounded like he was quoting it from a book. “How’d you find that out?” 

“What do you think?” Langris retorted sharply, crossing his arms. “I read it.” 

Finral frowned. “Why?” His brother wasn’t one to read up about random things without purpose. 

Langris gave him a look that amounted to the words ‘are you kidding me?’. “Why do you  _ think _ ?”

It took longer than it should have for it to dawn on Finral what Langris meant. “You…” It was hard for him to wrap his mind around. “You… read it for me?” 

His brother refused to meet his gaze. “ _ Someone _ had to look into these things.” He crossed his arms and gave forth a huff.” You weren’t going to.”

Oh that- that was true. Also hurtful. He was right. Finral would have never considered actually reading up on it as soon as Langris had, if he had thought to read up on it  _ ever _ . Some parent he was, screwing up already. “Yeah, I would have never thought of that…” Melancholy drowned his face.

Suddenly, his brother frowned. It was different from his huff, or his earlier fury. “Don’t be foolish and compare your preparation to mine. I am the Vice-Captain of the Golden Dawn after all. Plus…” He looked away. “You have your other strengths, neither you nor your child are hopeless.” 

Was… was Langris trying to comfort him? Did his brother actually just say he had  _ strengths _ ? And he was talking about  _ Finral _ ? “Langris-”

“You’re going to be horrible at discipline.” His brother said abruptly, surprisingly it didn’t sound like an insult. “You will be far better at the nurture part of upbringing. That-” He still refused to meet Finral’s gaze. “-that... is your biggest strength. We’ll work on the rest of it.”

The rest of-  _ oh _ .  _ We _ . “Langris…”

Finally, his brother met his gaze with something resembling determination in his eyes. “Do you really think I’ll leave my niece or nephew to be raised solely by you and those neanderthals you call a squad?”

“Uh-”

“You're sorely mistaken.” He proclaimed. “They’re going to need  _ someone  _ to tell your idiot self not to drink caffeine or alcohol.”

“I- I knew the alcohol one!” 

“And yet Captain Vangeance found you in a bar.” 

Finral cringed. “That… was a bad choice.”

“Agreed.” Langris narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make it again.”

Finral could only nod, stunned. He never expected this. Like, ever. The idea of Langris even talking to him civilly felt farfetched. Not to say this qualified as civil but it was… it was something very new. New and strange, but wonderful. 

“The baby is lucky to have an uncle like you.”

His brother’s cheeks burned red with a blush he tried to hide. He huffed. “Yes, they are.” Finral tried to hide his amusement, knowing his brother wouldn’t take well to it. “And I suppose... they’ll be lucky to have you as well.”

There weren’t words that could match the swell in his chest that those words gave Finral. Nervously, he asked. “You really think so?”

Langris gave him a look like he was an idiot. Finral couldn’t bring himself to be insulted. “You’ll love them ridiculously.” He stated. “To  _ absurd  _ degrees, even if they are the worst child alive.”

“Langris!”

“You’ll coddle them horribly and relentlessly.” The words continued to pour out. The tone itself was insulting, but both brothers knew the meaning was otherwise. “Knowing you, you won’t make them eat their vegetables either.” Once again, Langris huffed. “I’ll do that part.” His tone was thoughtful as he continued, ending his speech in something of a mumble. “There are worse ways to parent than being an idiot, like you..”

_ Worse ways to parent... like ours _ , Finral thought a tad grimly. “Thank you Langris.”

“No need.” His brother waved off. “I'm simply taking the correct course of action.”

Was it a Golden Dawn thing? Refusing gratitude? “Still,” Finral said. “Thank you.”

The baby would need someone like Langris in their lives, Finral himself needed someone like Langris in his life. Then again, if Langris had been a firmer part of his life there was a chance this baby would not have even been brought into existence. If they lived their lives in closer proximity, the whole ‘He and Yami thing’ wasn’t something that could have remained hidden. His brother was too sharp not to notice. Not to say the Black Bulls  _ weren’t  _ sharp, but none of them paid enough attention to realize that he and Yami had similar absences or the small signs Finral tried so hard to hide. 

Langris looked at him like there was something he wanted to ask. After a moment of hesitation, he did. “The child’s father-”

“ _ FINRAL!”  _

Oh, thank  _ god  _ for Asta. He’d never been so grateful for the kid. Most anything would be better than answering his brother’s question. Finral couldn’t bring himself to lie, but the truth was fairly awful. 

Well, not  _ awful _ . It could have been something far worse, and faintly Finral worried his brother assumed the worst. The type of ‘worse’ many omegas dealt with, unfortunately. Despite the idea of easing his brother’s worry, Finral couldn’t bring himself to reassure him. Talking about this subject at all with anyone, especially Langris, was mortifying.

Then there was Asta. It wasn’t farfetched to have assumed Yuno would have brought him inside, and Finral hadn’t given much worry to the thought prior because he was  _ Asta _ . But now, with the kid standing right before him, Finral… worried. Asta would have questions, lots of them, plus the reminder of the Black Bulls sapped guilt in his chest. 

Or wait. Maybe that wasn’t guilt. 

It was a good thing they were in the kitchen with a sink so nearby. Finral’s face turned green while he barrelled towards the sink and hurled into it. 

_ Embarrassing _ . It’d been crappy enough for Magna and Luck to witness the aftermath of morning sickness, but for the others to actually see it? It made Finral feel even sicker, and he hadn’t thought that possible. 

“I’msosorry,” He practically breathed the words out, unable to space them with the sickness wrenching out of him (literally).  _ Ugh _ . 

“Why?” Asta seemed puzzled by the apology at all, whilst Yuno approached Finral at the sink. He began running the water, letting the lecherous smell evaporate along with the content of Finral’s stomach. Yuno clasped a hand on his shoulder, offering some comfort in the midst of pain. Asta was quick to join, reaching up and rubbing circles on Finral’s back as comfortingly as he could. 

Glancing backward, Finral witnessed his brother utterly  _ bewildered _ . He wasn’t able to keep his brother in view though, he needed to dunk toward the sink once more in fear of what would come up. Still, guilt burned in his throat right next to the vile. “I’m sorry Langris.”

“Sh-” Langris stopped mid  _ ‘Shut Up’ _ which was something Finral had never actually witnessed before. His brother sighed and composed himself. “There is no need to apologize. Doing so is frivolous and time-wasting.”

Was that another Golden Dawn thing? Along with refusing thanks, refusing apologies? Finral had to hand it to the squad, they were  _ chivalrous _ . 

Asta patted him lightly on the back and grinned one of his signature smiles. “I’m glad you’re not dying.”

Um,  _ what _ ? “That’s- that was just morning sickness, Asta. It’s normal!” Finral was quick to assure him because this was something Asta should have known already! And it was worrying that he didn’t.

Once more, Asta gave him a confused look. “I know.” Oh, that was good. Wait, then-

“Did he tell you I was  _ dying? _ ” Was Yami going to kill him? Was that what this meant? Was this a warning? (Yes, he knew there was no way in any universe Yami was going to kill him. It didn’t prevent his anxiety from skyrocketing). Finral decided if Yami told the squad that Finral was dying, he was going to  _ kill _ Yami. 

Asta shook his head. “No, just that you needed some time away, but it was really  _ weird _ .”

_ When was Yami ever normal _ ? Finral would have asked if he hadn’t felt so much anguish related to the man. Instead, he said this. “By weird do you mean...” Did Yami feel guilty?  _ Could  _ he feel guilty? Finral wanted him to feel guilty, was that wrong? “... what do you mean by weird?” Because any assumptions gave away more than Finral was willing to give. 

Especially with the look that Langris was giving him. 

Asta rubbed his neck. “He left a letter is all.”

Left. “What do you mean  _ left _ ?” 

It could have just been the choice of words, Finral told himself. It didn’t mean anything at all. People left things all the time, but-  _ but _ . Panic engulfed him whole, and Finral forgot about keeping face.

Did Yami  _ leave _ ?

“The letter said that you were taking a few days away, and that… so was he.” Asta looked worried. Was it about Yami? Or maybe it was about Finral who looked like he was ready to puke once again. “We kinda thought maybe you guys were going somewhere together? The letter didn’t say a lot at all, which was  _ also  _ weird. Vanessa said it read like a formality.” 

“Formality?” Yuno interjected with a quirked brow. 

“Yeah, it means-”

“I  _ know _ what it means.” It wasn’t said with aggression, but the typical affection was lacking. “It doesn’t sound like your Captain.”

“That’s what I said!” Asta agreed. “Noelle told me what it meant and I thought it didn’t sound like Captain Yami at all!” 

Finral scoffed in his head _ , did any of them really know Yami at all _ ? 

Asta turned his attention on Finral, relief encompassed his face. “We were really worried about you! Gauche said something-'' His eyes shot down to Finral’s stomach and all thoughts of Yami subsided for a moment.  _ What did Gauche say _ ? Asta swallowed. “-but you’re safe and well and  _ not  _ with Captain Yami. So that’s one mystery solved!”

Asta, ever the optimist. If only he knew. 

“I was getting a bit freaked out, which is why I came here.” To find Yuno, the alpha who would calm him. If only Finral had one of those. “Then I found you!” Asta grinned, and Finral was sure it meant to be comforting. But there was a little too much hesitance behind it for the deal to sell itself. “So I’m sure Yami is around somewhere!”

Finral was with the Golden Dawn, where his brother was. His family. 

Yami’s family, if there were any at all, were in a whole other land away. Finral had always known Yami as a foreigner, but the idea that he didn’t have family on the other side seemed obvious. Why did he come here if he had family back there? How did you leave your family?

Now, Finral wasn’t so sure. If Yami had no trouble leaving them, then who was to say he didn’t have a whole other family whom he left?

His heart of fear thought of another child Yami could have left. His more logical brain reminded himself that Yami was nothing more than 15 when he washed up in the Clover Kingdom. He wouldn’t have been a father, it wasn’t probable. But he could have been a brother, and he would have been a son... 

There could have been people he left. It didn’t mean there was, but it sure meant there could have been. 

Yami could be a whole other land away, a whole other  _ world  _ away, reuniting with another family he left. Or paying a visit to their graves, for all Finral knew. It was wrong of him to make so many assumptions, it was wrong of him to assume the worst. But at this point, if he didn’t, the hits would just keep landing harder. 

He had initially assumed the worst possibility was Yami not wanting to be the father. Except now with Yami gone, he knew that not to be true. Finral was  _ tired _ of being surprised at the levels of worse it could get. He needed to assume the very  _ very _ worst because all this surprise and stress couldn’t be good for the baby, he decided. Assuming the worst saved him from that, right? He needed to be saved from it because right now it felt all too horrible.

“Did he say-” Finral reminded himself to breathe, he needed to  _ breathe _ . If not for himself, then for the baby he was carrying. “Did the letter say he would be back? Did it say… what did it say?”

He looked at Asta with glassy eyes, trying so hard to contain the emotion he felt screeching inside.

“Finral-” He heard Yuno address with concern. 

He didn’t care. “Asta, did the letter or did Yami himself- did they say he would be back? What words did he use?”

Asta stared at him like he didn’t know what to do when Finral was asking a very  _ clear  _ question. 

“What did the letter say?” He demanded once again, tone harsher. 

“The um,” The boy’s voice caught in his throat, and typically Finral would be beside himself with concern because that  _ wasn’t  _ something that happened to Asta. Yet here it was. Happening. “The letter said you were taking some time.” Yes, those had been the words Finral used. “And that he... he was taking some time too.” Oh, those had been the words Yami stole. 

_ Some time _ . What qualified as ‘some time’? Who was to say that didn’t mean  _ all  _ time? When he himself had spoken them, Finral had considered it a measly few days. Three at the most. Then he’d talk to Yami and they would deal with what the future held. 

Now there was no Yami to talk to. Finral practically ran him off, didn’t he? With all the accusations and anger and crying and now Yami was  _ gone _ . He had lost all expectations of Yami being a father when he told him the news. He never, not for a single second, lost expectations of Yami being a Captain. Yami being  _ there _ . It was always a given that Yami would be in his life, whether he wanted to be the father of their child or not, Yami would be in his  _ life _ . That was something he had never doubted, something he would have never even considered an option.

But Yami left them. Not just Finral and the baby, but the Black Bulls. Their squad, their family, he just  _ left _ . Finral never imagined the man to be capable of such a thing. 

Even now, it didn’t seem real. 

Maybe it wasn’t real, Finral reminded himself.  _ Some time  _ could mean a lot of things. But there was no choice anymore. He needed to assume the worst. For his child’s sake, he needed to assume the worst and prepare for it. 

His child whose father had abandoned them. 

His kid who wasn’t even born yet, and already had trauma to deal with. 

His baby, who would be forever scarred because of this.

“ _ Brother _ !” Langris roared grasping him by the shoulders, louder than Finral had ever heard him before. “You need to breathe!” 

Oh. Had he not been? 

Asta and Yuno looked horrified. They were teenagers. Kids. Of course, they were horrified. He did that to them, he scared them. How the hell was he supposed to be a good parent when he was scaring teenagers? 

“Finral!” Langris yelled once again, and _ oh yeah _ he’d asked Finral to breathe. He should be doing that. So Finral did. In and out, inhale and exhale, except the breaths came out heaving and it still felt awful.  _ Everything  _ felt awful. He couldn’t--- he couldn’t do this. Any of this. He couldn’t even keep himself standing up. It all felt too heavy. 

He would have collapsed hadn’t his brother caught him. Instead, Finral slumped forward and Langris lowered them onto the ground. It was all too much, and Finral couldn’t contain it. His breathing unbalanced, his shoulders shaking and quiet little sobs escaping from his lips while hot tears ran from his eyes. This was all horribly embarrassing. In front of Asta and Yuno, with more Golden Dawn members gathering at the sight. It was more embarrassing than Finral could describe. If it weren’t for the horribleness he already felt, it would have sunk in a lot deeper. 

He couldn’t escape the wails in his throat, and it just wouldn’t  _ stop _ . He  _ wanted  _ it to stop, so badly, he wanted it to stop. He wanted Yami to be here, happy to be a parent or at the very least just  _ here _ .

“Finral.” It was a Captain’s voice, just not the Captain he wanted. Finally, Finral forced his head to lift (and it felt so  _ so  _ heavy, lifting his head had never been such a burden before). There was Captain Vangeance, but more importantly, there was Langris. 

Looking at him in a way he had never had before. There was no flimsy excuse to hide behind or trying to pass the emotion off as something else. Langris looked scared. It was a type of vulnerability that was new to them both. Finral had always tried so hard not to be like this in front of Langris. He didn’t want to be like this in front of  _ anyone _ . He didn’t want to be another vulnerable crying omega.

Yet here he was. Vulnerable, an omega, and pregnant to boot. 

His hands shaking, struggling to keep his head up, and unable to mute the sorrow running through him. 

“Yuno, Asta.” William addressed them both without taking his gaze off Finral, giving a silent command to both young men. 

Yuno nodded. “Come on Asta.”

“But...” No one interjected, no one listed off a reason Asta  _ couldn’t  _ be here. Nor was Asta able to give the reason he should  _ stay _ . There were no concrete facts here, just emotions at the bustle. 

“We’ll be right outside,” Asta told Finral like it was something that mattered. Like  _ anything  _ mattered. 

The two boys left them, with Yuno shutting the door behind them. Finral startled at the sound of the door slamming. At his startle, his brother’s grip tightened upon him. 

He wanted to be calm. He wanted to be collected. 

He could not be either. 

“Finral,” William spoke gently, the man walked forward and took a seat upon the kitchen floor beside them. Finally, Finral unattached from Langris. Still shaking and struggling to keep himself up, but Langris seemed ready to catch him at need be. 

“I think it’s time we talked about your child’s father.”

Yeah, that seemed about right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha ha, this was not what I planned. This chapter was supposed to be soft and warm and lead into resolution. It did not do that. Finral's panic took the reigns and damnnn did it go off. 
> 
> I honestly don't remember if they actually have coffee in Black Clover, but for the sake of my story they dooo. anddddd I also had a moment of ‘DO THEY HAVE SINKS IN BLACK CLOVER?’ then I said ‘lets just go with it’. 
> 
> So originally this chapter was called something else but that was too happy and the angst turned up wayyyy more than I thought it would.  
> Finrals breakdown was not planned. at all haha. OOf. 
> 
> ANOTHER SIDENOTE: i really needed deep sad emotions for Finral’s breakdown. so i was skipping thru my ost playlist bc only happy or calm songs kept ringing until i found ‘Parting Forever /Immortal Life’ from Lost Odyssey and damn it is perfect and sad. That was my sad scene music hahaha
> 
> LAST SIDENOTE: you'll notice the chapter count go up. oops.


	4. before we get too old

There no was no coming back from this, Finral knew. There was no undoing what had already been done. He fucked up. Big time. Now they all knew how pathetic he was, that he was going to screw this kid up, and that this kid…this kid was also  _ Yami’s _ . Maybe Asta didn’t pick up on it, being Asta. But William, Langris, even Yuno- there was no hiding it from them. There was no way they didn’t know. They all  _ knew _ .

The Black Bulls would have to find out next, Finral felt sick at the thought. As much as he enjoyed the idea that they wouldn’t care or that they’d take his side… it was hard to be confident in it. Of  _ course, _ they would care no matter what, each and every one of them loved Yami so much. Not that Finral could blame them. Yami saved each and every one of them. If Yami didn’t want Finral they would follow, wouldn’t they? Then again it seemed like Yami may not have cared about any of them enough, given the fact that he was gone. 

_ Vanessa _ . Oh, she was going to hate him. Finral knew. She had loved Yami so, so much… Maybe she was over it now, but it didn’t change the fact he’d slept with him knowing Vanessa’s feelings. He was an awful friend. 

Captain Charlotte too. They weren’t friends in the way he and Vanessa were (no one was, really) but Finral was aware of her… feelings, for Yami. Oh, she was going to  _ hate _ him. And his baby. He and his baby were going to be hated by the entire Blue Rose squad, Finral realized with dread.

Now, everyone knew. Or at least there were going to know. He couldn’t keep his pregnancy a secret for even a day, now everyone knew who the father was too. Even if William, Langris, Yuno, and Asta kept it secret (which, knowing Asta, was a slim chance) other Golden Dawn members  _ must _ have heard him. Langris’ threats could only hold so much leeway, and it was easy to let something slip without anyone knowing the source. 

Finral felt his heart pumping in his chest, he felt sick from it. He felt  _ scared _ . It was all so much, too much. How could he do this? How could anyone expect him to be able to do this when he couldn’t so much as make an attack spell? His father was right, he was meaningless, he should never have been born-

“ _ Finral _ .” William addressed him warily. He approached the brothers where they sat upon the ground.Then William, freakin Captain of the Golden Dawn, knelt upon the kitchen floor beside them. Maybe the Golden Dawn’s kitchen floor was clean enough to eat off, for all Finral knew (the Black Bulls sure wasn’t) but it was still the  _ floor _ .

Which Langris was also sitting on because Finral had dragged him down. 

He whimpered, sobs clawing at his throat once more. Oh  _ god _ , he had dragged his brother down to the  _ floor. _ , Oh god, oh god, his father had always said not to drag Langris down, and now here he was,  _ dragging-  _

“Stop!” Langris ordered abruptly and loudly. “You need to stop.” 

He was so pathetic, truly. Crying like he was, slumped over his little brother, not being strong enough to even stand on his own. They probably had the Golden Dawn and Asta leave so they could politely (because William was always polite) tell  _ Finral _ to leave. Or maybe they were going to kick him out cold turkey. Oh no, what if they took him to another kingdom so they wouldn’t have to deal with-

“You’re spiraling.” William told him like it was a blanket statement. 

“I- I-”

“You need to breathe.” 

“I  _ can’t _ .”

“Do it anyway,” Langris said with a conviction Finral didn’t recall hearing before. “If not for yourself, then for my nephew.”  _ Nephew _ ? Finral stared at him, lost at where the assumed gender had come from. Langris looked absolutely bashful. “Or niece, or whoever they want to be-  _ them _ .” He inhaled deeply. Langris did, and then Finral did as an echo.

Once, and then again. 

It was helpful. 

“The only thing you need to apologize for,” Langris told him. “Is getting my robe wet.”

_ Oh _ . He had, hadn’t he?

Maybe it was Langris’ tone, but the typical guilt he felt on his shoulders was alleviated by his brother’s words rather than burdened. 

If that was the  _ only  _ thing Finral had to be sorry for… well, he wasn’t used to the list being so short. It wouldn’t last he knew. His burdens would slam on his shoulders again and the guilt would remain something crushing. However, in this moment, he could  _ breathe  _ again. That was something important. 

“I’m s-” Both Langris and William looked at him as if  _ daring _ him to utter an apology. Finral did not. “I’m guessing,” He said instead, releasing a light sigh. “That you…. have an idea… of who the uh,” He winced. “You know who the father is.”

Langris went silent, but William nodded. “Yes.”

The confirmation wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t great. It wasn’t yelling, disappointment or disgust, but the silence was disjointed. Finral found himself yearning for the noise of the Black Bulls more than ever. 

“I had my suspicions,” William told him, which wasn’t too shocking. He hadn’t done well keeping it under wraps the night before and especially not this morning. “Even before last night.”  _ Oh _ . Well, that was a bit more startling. 

“Before last night?” 

William nodded. “It was the little things, I was never completely sure. None of what I saw could have been hard evidence, just smaller things adding up.”

_ Ah _ . Finral wondered if anyone else had seen those smaller things. He hoped not. 

Langris glared at his captain, and Finral was pretty sure it was the first time he’d ever seen such a thing. He’d always seen his brother look at his captain with nothing but respect. “How is it that you suspected and never told me?”

“I wasn’t aware you would care so much.”

His brother looked like he was ready to spit an objection but withheld it. 

“Not to mention,” William went on. “It’s not something I’d consider anyone else’s business.” 

His brother looked even more displeased with the answer, and it made Finral want to inquire. The idea of Langris having cared about his and Yami’s arrangement even before there was a baby involved was something Finral had never considered.. 

“It’s inappropriate!” Langris insisted. 

“We do not know that yet,” Violet eyes set upon Finral’s own. “There are a lot of questions. Why not start there?”

Finral frowned, wiping from his cheek the tears that had ushered prior. “I don’t understand. What’s the question?”

Langris and William shared a silent look, like there was a conversation between them that Finral wasn’t privy to. 

“The question is,” William spoke. “Does your brother have just cause for his anger?”

This confused Finral further. “Of course he does, I’m an awful big brother.” 

William stared at him with bewilderment and Langris facepalmed. “No, you  _ idiot _ . Brother,” He addressed Finral directly and left no room for guessing in his inquiry. “Explain the relationship you have with Yami Sukehiro.”

Oh. Uh. Ah.  _ Yami _ . “I’m... really angry at him right now.”

“That wasn’t the question,” William reminded politely. 

The relationship he had with Yami… huh. That was a tougher question than anticipated. If the situation wasn’t what it was. If this hadn’t been Langris and William before him, who already knew the truth he had never told, Finral would have said (lied), along the lines ‘He’s just my Captain. It would have been as simple as that. Except it wasn’t as simple as that. It was so much  _ more. _

Not even at the very beginning, before whatever between them began, Yami was never  _ Just his Captain _ . Yami… Yami was the first person who believed in him. Not in the way Asta believed in people, no, but.... but in his own Yami-way. Yami believed in him. He believed he was good for more than just a convenient ride, despite what he would lead others to believe. 

Before Yami…. No, rather  _ without _ Yami, Finral wouldn’t have been what he was. He would have never had the Black Bulls, never met Vanessa, Asta, or any of the people he considered his family. He would have never had a reason to even continue  _ living _ . Finral winced at such a reminder. 

Without meeting Yami, without becoming one of the Black Bulls, a magic knight, Finral couldn’t bear to even think what would have become of him. Would he have gone back to his father after presenting? Would he have even survived that long…? It was a shivering thought and only furthered his inner turmoil. 

He didn’t want to live in a world without Yami’s effect in his life. He didn’t want to live in a world without  _ Yami _ . Even with the terrible heartbreak he caused, he also had given him  _ hope _ . For a long time, Yami had been his lifeline. Then there was Vanessa, Charmy, Luck, Magna... then along came Asta and Noelle.  _ All  _ of them. Even Gauche. Yami was the conduit to him meeting them all. He had become more than just a lifeline. He’d become a proper  _ pain in the ass _ , always calling Finral his ‘ride’. He also became an inspiration, believing in him when Finral hadn’t had anyone else do that before. He became the first alpha Finral found trustworthy enough to harbor any type of romantic feelings for. 

It wasn’t even like it was long ago. This thing between them wasn’t brand new, but it wasn’t old either. Finral remembered the first time in vivid detail. His first kiss, the way Yami held him with gentleness Finral never recalled receiving in his life. Their first time together had been something precious and warm. What came after wasn’t always precious, sometimes it’d been the opposite, rough and steaming. It was always, without a doubt, something  _ enjoyable _ . There was never a bad occasion or a time when it didn’t click. It  _ always _ clicked, no matter what they were doing. They had fun, but it was more than just that. There was a trust there that Finral hadn’t ever thought was possible to break. The idea of it sounded alien to him back then, like the silliest of fantasies. 

Now, look where he was. 

How did he put it into words? Into a proper answer?  _ Casual fuck buddies.  _ No, it was far more than that.  _ He’s not my boyfriend, we only sleep together but I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone else _ . No that wasn’t… oh, was that true?

Finral trusted Yami more than he’d ever trusted anyone before. Even now, with his heartbroken and tattered. “I…” Langris and William watched him. His brother seemed impatient while William seemed ready to wait as long as Finral needed. 

Except… Finral didn’t know how long he needed. How did he explain that he trusted Yami more than anyone, that he always enjoyed his time alone with him, that Yami made him feel warm and protected, that Yami made him feel like a way he never had before for anyone else?

His heart skipped a beat. 

_ Oh _ .

“I…” He was trying to wrap his mind around it, and even as he heard the words spoken by himself, Finral didn’t quite understand them. “I think I’m in love with him.” 

William blinked his eyes. 

Langris cursed. 

Finral pretty word vomited after that. They were never in a relationship, they’d been sleeping together, and everything had been a total accident. The accident part hadn’t come as much surprise to either of them (maybe because he’d already told them that part, or maybe because they were smart men). The part where he told them Yami’s reaction, however, did seem to shock them both. William seemed confused while Langris looked downright murderous. 

“I never imagined Yami would have left the Black Bulls.” William spoke like he was thinking about it deeply. “It doesn’t seem like him.”

Finral, still on the kitchen floor, hugged his knees closer to his chest. “Yeah… I feel like I never really knew him at all.” 

“Obviously, you didn’t.”

“Langris- ” William cautioned. 

“You chose poorly.” Langris continued. “And Yami Sukehiro did too.” Finral felt those familiar wetness form in his eyes. “If he thought  _ you _ were the person for a no string attached relationship, he must have been a fool as well.” The words were insulting, but the tone told another story. “You’re the most emotional person I know.” 

Finral frowned, unsure how to respond. 

His brother sighed. “That... isn’t a bad thing,” Langris told him, not elaborating further. Finral wished he did but didn’t push it.  _ It wasn’t a bad thing _ . From a normal person, that wasn’t much. From Langris? It was a lot more than Finral was used to.

“Now could we get off the floor?”

“Y-yeah… we could do that.”

_ We _ . Langris had been waiting for him. He could have stood up when Finral sunk but he… he didn’t. Langris had been doing kind things for him for the past two days and each time it felt like something wonderful. Finral hoped that feeling never vanished. 

The three of them stood. Albeit, Finral was a bit shakier in his standing then the graceful William and Langris. His brother looked like he was preparing to catch him if Finral slipped even the slightest. It was sweet. 

Then there was a polite knock at the door. 

_ Yuno _ , he’d imagine. 

Another knock, this one was heavier and more impatient.  _ Asta _ . 

Langris and William looked at him and for a second Finral had no idea why. Then it dawned on him. They were asking permission, to see if he was okay with the two boys joining them. 

“Come in!” Finral called giving a reaffirming nod. 

Asta slammed the door open because he was Asta and of course he did. It wasn’t an intentional slam, of course, more out of urgency. Concern seeped from Asta’s gaze and Yuno was the one to ask. “Are you okay?” 

Finral gave a soft smile, despite the red rims of his eyes from his tears, and nodded. “I’ll survive.”

“But… are you  _ okay _ ?” Asta reinforced the question with concern. 

Finral wished he had a good answer for it. The truth was that, no, he wasn’t okay. But that wasn’t something terrible and it wasn’t even because he was pregnant. He was  _ never _ okay, just… ever. But how could he explain that to Asta? “Not really,” He confessed. “But like I said. I’ll survive.” 

Langris didn’t look so convinced at the platitude. 

William looked- well, Finral would venture to guess that was pride on his face. He was still a bit unfamiliar with it, so he didn’t know for sure. 

Then Asta made a face. 

It was the kinda face Yuno must have recognized as something to enquire about. He beat Finral to ask, “Asta?” 

For the first time since he’d known him, Asta seemed like he was at a loss for words. Yuno’s concern grew, facing the other boy completely with concern. “What’s going on?” He demanded. 

Asta looked past Yuno, he looked at Finral. His mouth opened, the words struggling to take a form. “He’s here,” Asta told him. 

“... who’s here?”

“Captain Yami is outside.”

_ What _ .

“I sense his ki.” 

_ Oh _ . 

“Ah,” William said. 

“You’re kidding me,” Langris seethed. 

“Finral?” Asta asked as if Finral was the one who decided what came next.

“What do you wanna do?” Yuno cemented it. 

“I…”

What  _ did _ he want to do? He had been so convinced Yami was gone because that seemed like the most reasonable idea. It seemed awful, and he needed to prepare for awful because allowing hope to seep in was asking for disaster.

Except. Yami was  _ here _ . 

That made the answer very awful, but also… very easy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you’ll notice this chapter is very very short. That is because it is a sort of a prelude to the end. Also because I had a vision when I first started this fic, and I wanted the second to last chapter to end with Yami at the door. Finral derailed me many times, but this time I went with the OG plan. The last chapter is in progress and I promise, will explain a lot.


	5. show me a garden that's bursting into life

William Vangeance would later claim it was a ‘small nudge’ that he used to push Finral toward the Golden Dawn’s entrance. 

It was not, in fact, a small nudge. It was Finral saying  _ ‘You need to push me, I’m not gonna do this if you don’t push me _ .’ which prompted Yuno to use the wind to literally push him out the door. Which was admittedly what he asked for, but still, the wind was  _ cold _ . 

Asta shouted after him. “Good luck!”

Langris huffed and crossed his arms, still disapproving.. From the moment Finral decided to talk to Yami he’d been against it. It was such a strange thing. Finral was used to his brother’s anger being a sharp blade he was on the enemy side of. Now he was behind it, being protected by it, it was very strange. 

Yami looked nonplussed as usual standing outside the Golden Dawn headquarters. He didn’t so much as turn when Finral left the building. Which, thinking on it, wasn’t too surprising. Yami must have done that sensing thing (the one Asta learned) and already knew of Finral’s upcoming presence. 

Finral wished it wasn’t on him to prompt conversation. But Yami hadn’t so much as looked his way, which felt both insulting and somewhat anxiety-inducing. Was he really so hard to face? It was on Finral to begin, he knew it’d be a cold day in hell before Yami started the conversation on ‘feelings’ let alone uttered an apology. 

Despite the anger seared into his mind, there was a lightness in his chest when faced with the sight of Yami. Like butterflies in his stomach, fluttering around and making him feel ill. For the very first time, Finral was positive it wasn’t morning sickness. 

“Yami.” He addressed softly.  _ Yami _ . Even with his fury at the man, Finral couldn’t deny the relief that came with the sight of him after thinking him gone. “I thought…” Finral’s voice caught in his chest, struggling to convey all the emotion he felt. “I thought you were gone.” 

He didn’t see his captain’s face, but Finral would imagine it was frowning. “Why would you think that?” It was spoken like the idea was folly. 

Finral inhaled, ready to defend himself and his very logical conclusion. “Asta told me about the note that said you were ‘taking some time’.”

“Yeah,” Yami responded. “Like three days. Maybe four? At least, that was the plan…” He ran his hand through his hair. “What else do you think ‘some time’ means? That I up and leave you dumbasses?” He scoffed. “Where would I even  _ go _ ?” 

Finral had considered ‘some time’ as to be three to four days as well. The idea that Yami considered the same sounded blasphemous before. But now? Apparently, he and Yami were more in sync than he had previously considered. “You could have gone home…” Finral suggested weakly. 

There was a snort in response to this. He still hadn’t turned. “I  _ am  _ home.” It was said like it was obvious. “Obviously not in Vangeance’s playhouse, but the Clover Kingdom  _ is _ my home.”

That… that made sense. Finral gave a slow nod. “I… I thought you wouldn’t abandon your home. I’m glad I wasn’t wrong about that.” Even if he was wrong about so much else.

“Not just my home,” Yami corrected. . “My people… all the idiots at the Black Bulls.  _ You _ , and…” And who? The other captains? The Wizard King? 

Finally, Yami faced him. He’d never looked at him like this before, Finral realized. It was so different than he was used to, not just from Yami but from  _ anyone _ . To be looked at in the way Yami was looking at him.. like he was something precious. 

He’d been so ready for the worst. Now, against better judgment, Finral found himself hoping for  _ more _ . Not the opposite of the worst, because there was no such thing as the best. But… something a bit better than it used to be. Just a little bit better. If he could make anything just a fraction better, it would be the man he recently realized he loved sticking around. He didn’t have to be the dad if he didn’t want to, so longas he was  _ here _ . 

Yami’s eyes leveled to Finral’s stomach, startling him. “So we got a name yet?” 

Finral blinked. “What?”

“Does the kid have a name yet?”

“The kid doesn’t have a  _ gender _ yet.” 

His annoyed tone was waved off. “Yeah yeah... So…” So what  _ now _ ? Yami wasn’t gone, that was a good thing. He sounded much more supportive of the baby idea now, another good thing. But that didn’t erase what had occurred a day before. It didn’t change the pain Finral had felt, and the fact Yami had been ready to reject their kid. It didn’t change the fact Finral had been sobbing not even an hour ago because of the man standing right before him. 

The man who was looking at him in such a fixed way Finral’s heart skipped a beat. 

Yami sighed. “Guess I owe you an explanation.”

“Damn right you do,” Finral responded before his words caught up with his mind.  _ Oh god, he actually just said that _ . Yami looked vaguely amused. His hand lifted his face as if to pull the cigarette from his lips, but there was no cigarette there. Yami must have forgotten too, judging by the way his fingers curled back to his side as if itching for what they lacked. 

Finral scrambled to remember another occasion that he’d seen Yami not smoking. Sexy times notwithstanding. The man always seemed to be smoking. To see him not felt weird. 

He’d ask about that later, Finral decided. 

“This isn’t an excuse,” Yami began. “It’s an explanation. According to Julius-” He adjusted his voice to mimic the Wizard King. “‘ _ There is no excuse for your reaction _ .’ He said a bunch of other shit too, but that was the gist of it.” 

“The Wizard King?” Finral suddenly felt mortified. “You spoke to the Wizard King about  _ me _ ?”

Yami quirked a brow. “Yeah?”

Finral suddenly felt very faint. The color flushed on his cheeks, and he must have been doing a piss poor job of hiding his feelings if Yami picked up on them. Which, he did. 

“I’ve spoken to him about each of you dumbasses more than once,” Yami offered as a means to make Finral feel better. It wasn’t helpful, but it was something at least. Finral couldn’t help but note the difference in the way Yami stood. He’d known the man long enough to recognize when he was ready to attack. He looked like he was ready to launch. Which was strange, why- …  _ oh _ . He was readying to catch him if Finral passed out like he had earlier.  _ Oh _ . He didn’t know what to do with the information... or the way it made his heart skip a beat. 

“We could sit,” Yami suggested. “Our audience would have a better view.” 

_ Audience _ ? Finral snapped his head back toward the Golden Dawn base. The moment he did, he saw at least four heads duck down. Maybe five. 

He wondered if he should be angry. Instead, Finral found himself both amused and touched. They cared. They were silly about it (probably Asta at the helm) but they cared. 

“I’m… alright,” Finral said, feeling better than he had before. The reminder that they were watching out for him knocked that anxiety out of him. At least for the time being (it was always a brief knockout, never a total win. No such thing as a total KO for his anxiety, unfortunately). 

There was a look of relief in Yami’s eyes when Finral had said he was alright. Could Yami have been actually concerned? Huh. Maybe he  _ was _ . The last time they had spoken Finral had been doing quite the opposite of good. 

Did it make him an awful human being to enjoy the idea of Yami being worried for him? 

“I was a dumb kid.” Yami began, taking Finral out of his stupor. “Magic Knight, foreigner, you know the whole story.” Yeah, he did. He’d caught Yami reminiscing about things from his homeland on more than one occasion. There had even been a time Yami told him a story from his childhood before the Clover Kingdom. Something about a guy named Sora and an old man named Yukio, not Yami’s grandfather but a funny old man he’d known. Come to think of it, Finral may have known more about Yami’s homeland and past than any one else. Except maybe the Wizard King. The thought of that gave him a funny feeling. 

At Yami’s continued silence, Finral prompted. “What happened?” He had to imagine it had something to do with unexpected parenthood, what else could have been the explanation for his past behavior? 

“I was the badass up and coming magic knight,” Yami said. “And she was a hot older chick at the bar who drank with me.” He rubbed his neck. It was obvious Yami wasn’t a fan of recounting the story. “Long story short: She was pregnant. I was ready to drop everything for that kid, change my whole life. She even insisted on us being Bonded…” Despite his attempt to keep a light tone, Finral could see on his face that talking about the experience left an unwanted impact on Yami. “Unlike me, Julius knew the smell of bullshit. He sniffed it six miles away.” 

_ Julius _ . He’d never before thought about how close Yami and the Wizard King were. Finral had been aware the bond existed, but the reminder shook him a bit more now. His child’s  _ father  _ was close to the  _ Wizard King _ . Yeah, that felt different. 

Yami continued. “He had Owen give her an exam, and let me tell you Owen was not happy about it.” Amusement littered his face at the memory. Finral could hear it too.  _ ‘I’m not an OB Julius.’ _ Finral imagined Owen would say, despite being in the midst of doing the exam. “We got the week of conception. One month and two weeks prior.” That was a very exact period of time. Finral was surprised that Yami had memorized it. Then again, it was clear this whole experience was impactful. “Funny thing was though… One month and two weeks ago, I’d been on a week-long mission with Julius.” He belted out a laugh. “You should have seen Julius drowning in his paperwork trying to find the mission report, fuckin hilarious…” 

Finral couldn’t bring himself to be amused. That must have been a horrible experience to go through. “Yami-”

“I knew her due date, and I remembered it even after finding out the kid wasn’t mine.” There was a faraway look in his eyes as Yami reminisced. “When the kid came along, I wanted to be there… just in case.” He sighed. “The kid didn’t look a thing like me. The mom has black hair, the kid was  _ blonde _ .” Decidedly, not Yami’s, Finral agreed. 

It was an explanation, as Yami described. Also, as Yami described, not an excuse. 

There was just one significant problem in all this. “The one thing I don’t understand,” Finral said “Is how you could think I’m  _ anything  _ like that woman?” The thought of that stung. Yami thinking of him in that way? It hurt. “Just an omega hoping for a meal ticket. Do you really think that little of me?”

The idea of people having low opinions of him wasn’t new. But Yami wasn’t people. He was  _ Yami _ . The one who annoyed the living daylights out of Finral, and complained beyond belief whenever he needed to so much as refuel. The one who had belief in Finral before Finral even believed in himself (something he still struggled with, daily). The one who never looked down on him, not for even a moment. 

“Hold on a fucking second,” Yami responded faster than Finral had ever heard him before. “That wasn’t what I was going for- give me a minute, yeah? Let me finish.” 

Finral wanted to argue that he was  _ perfectly  _ capable of letting Yami finish. Hearing him tell that story was the most he’d ever heard Yami talk. Instead, he held his tongue and motioned for Yami to go on.

It was almost funny. He had more confidence arguing with Yami than anyone else. Even with the most minor of an infraction, Finral always felt like he was at fault. Arguing with Yami felt different. Like there was no risk. Even with his feelings hurt as they are, Finral still knew he’d do anything for Yami. And for the first time in the past day, he was confident Yami would do the same for him. 

“Of course I don’t think you’re anything like her,” Yami stated clear as day. It was relieving to hear, despite Finral having known it to be true from the start. Hearing it affirmed by Yami was nice. “Fuck Finral, you’re better than most people I know. Far better than my dumbass, that’s for sure.”

Somehow hearing Yami calling himself a dumbass made Finral want to object to the claim, despite having inwardly thought the same more than once. (Was this part of the whole ‘being in love’ thing?).

“Then why did you react like that?” Finral remembered it clear as day. He clung to the memory in an attempt to remain angry at Yami despite wanting nothing more than to forgive. He blamed that on the omega pregnancy hormones. Maybe also the love thing. Maybe. 

Yami was silent for a moment. “Your kid,” He said, and the word ‘ _ your’ _ had never stung so badly before. “They deserve a better dad than me, and you-”  _ Me? _ “You deserve better than me too.”

Finral welcomed the silence this time around, he had no clue how to respond.  _ You deserve better than me _ ? Since when? He was still Finral. Cowardly, and flirty, a pack mule if there ever was one. Since when did he deserve  _ better _ ?

“So you regret sleeping with me then?” Finral asked sharply. It wasn’t what he’d meant to say, but it popped out of his mouth anyway and he didn’t regret it. 

Yami looked startled at the question and once more, silence settled around them. Yami had heard him, that was clear from the conflicted look on his face. It was the kind of look that meant you knew the correct answer would be a flat out lie. 

Yami didn’t regret sleeping with him, at least he presumed by the lack of an answer. That was… nice. Finral had no intention in admitting it, but it was. The idea of being Yami’s regret hurt him greatly. He was used to being a regret of Ledior’s, probably others too. But the idea of Yami regretting him was a special kind of pain. Especially knowing he’d never be able to regret Yami. 

“So you really think you’re gonna be a crappy dad.” It was a statement by now, given all Yami had confessed. 

“A shit dad, yeah.” 

Maybe he shouldn’t have laughed. But still, he did. Finral needed it. “Join the club.” 

Yami made a face at him that resembled disbelief. 

Finral sighed. “There’s no such  _ thing _ as the perfect parent Yami. And if somehow you are shit at it,” He borrowed Yami’s phrase. “I’ll never let you near our kid ever again.” He wasn’t lying. It didn’t just apply to Yami either, but anyone who would dare harm his child. Finral would protect them with his life. Whether the danger wasfrom foe or ally, he wouldn’t allow harm to reach them. His gaze softened. “As long as you’re there, that’s enough.”

Yami didn’t look so convinced. “Your dad was there, he raised you.” He pointed out, and Finral really wished he hadn’t. “Look how that turned out.” 

Yeah, Yami had enough of a picture to know what his life was like under his father’s rule. Even before they started sleeping together Yami had an insight into them. An insight that was truly driven home once Finral presented as an omega and his father’s reacted to the news. 

That had not been a great time. 

“Yami,” Finral addressed him by name, making sure he understood the gravity of what he planned to say next. “If you were anything like my father, I would have  _ never  _ slept with you.” He meant it too. Not to say he wasn’t  _ attracted _ to certain people against his better judgment, for those exact qualities (daddy issues, much, he already knew). The thing was, he would have never  _ slept  _ with anyone like that. There was no trust. It was why Yami had been his only. 

He wondered if Yami had any idea that he was Finral’s first, or that he was Finral’s only. 

This was not the time to tell him though.  _ If  _ he ever told him. 

Yami inhaled. “I take it, I'm not forgiven?” 

Finral didn’t know if that was true or not, but he didn’t interrupt. “But I’m here, and as long as you’ll have me, I won’t be going anywhere.”

Oh. Oh. That was- those were… he said- he said he wasn’t going  _ anywhere _ . which meant, he was staying. With here, with the Black Bulls, with Finral, with the  _ baby _ .

Ha. Yami didn’t think he’d be a good father. Finral begged to differ. 

Now, they were going to get the chance to see. 

  
  


.

  
  


It was kind of funny. Watching Asta attempting to compose himself afterYami opened the door and sent him flying. He wondered if they had heard everything, they sure  _ saw  _ everything. It was quite noticeable by the lack of a tense atmosphere that things between him and Yami were sorted. Well, not  _ completely  _ sorted. He didn’t tell Yami the whole ‘in love with him’ thing. Nor did he know if he ever would. This was a one-step-at-a-time process. 

“So everything is settled?” William asked, a touch of smugness in his tone as if he’d known this would be the outcome the whole time. Finral was starting to understand why he and Yami were such good friends. 

“Settled works,” Yami replied nonchalantly. 

Finral couldn’t help but notice Langris glowering. For once it was not aimed at him but rather his captain and baby daddy ( _ baby daddy _ , that felt weird). Either Yami wasn’t aware or he was pointedly ignoring Finral’s younger brother’s anger. Either could be true. 

He sent Yami a pleading look that said  _ Please don’t antagonize the uncle of our future child _ . Yami, quick as he was, gave a soft sigh of defeat before locking his attention onto Langris. “Got something to say?”

He had a nagging feeling that he would be sending a pleading stare to Langris soon. One that said,  _ Please don’t antagonize the father of your future niece or nephew _ . Unlike Yami though, he doubted Langris would be so adept at reading the meaning of his stares. 

“I am fully aware of how unlikely it is that I could beat you in a fight,” Langris told Yami, much to Finral’s bewilderment. Because  _ what _ ? 

“Yeah?” Yami responded, eyes narrowed and tone seemed to be  _ daring _ Langris. Daring him to do what??

“That is to say, you sleep.” 

Yami blinked. Once more, he repeated. “Yeah?” 

Finral had a bad feeling about this.

“People are flammable in their sleep,” Langris said as if they were talking about the weather. 

Bad feeling:  _ confirmed _ . 

The eye contact between them was intense. It was as if a staring contest was being held and neither would allow themselves to lose. Knowing the stubbornness of each of them, Finral decided that was a likely reality. 

“Noted.” Yami said.  _ Noted?  _ What did that even mean? Why did two of the people he loved most cause him so much worry? His panic was quick to be quelled when Langris approached him, standing directly in front of Finral. 

“La- langris?”

“I presume you’re going home with Sukehiro.” 

“ _ Captain Sukehiro _ .” He heard Yami correct pettily, something he didn’t ordinarily do. It was probably to get under Langris’ skin. 

There was a quick glare snapped in Yami’s direction from Langris, but no comeback (which, you know, thank god. Finral couldn’t deal with more of their squabble). 

“Yes,” Finral nodded. “I am.” Glancing towards Asta, who was having the bump on his head examined by Mimosa with Yuno hovering, Finral couldn’t help but think about the rest of the Black Bulls. None more so than Vanessa. They had to be worried about him. Last time they’d seen him, they’d found out Finral was pregnant, he promptly passed out, then decided to go away for a few days. It wasn’t his proudest moment. 

Langris nodded. He opened his mouth to say something but seemed to be struggling to come up with the correct thing to say. Or to be more precise, the  _ nice _ thing to say. He’d been making an effort to not be so… Langris-y, it was something Finral noticed and appreciated. 

“I will have mandatory check-ups on you weekly,” Langris stated bluntly. “If anything suspect occurs I  _ will  _ be investigating it.” It was all very formal. It was all very  _ kind _ . It was very unlike what he’d come to expect from Langris. It was something Finral valued. 

“We could get lunch,” Finral suggested, feeling excitement stir in his chest at the idea. Getting lunch with his brother, and  _ weekly _ to boot? It sounded unreal. 

“Or you come to visit here,” It was William who spoke. “We’d all love to see you Finral, and the little one.” It was funny how William could speak for the entire Golden Dawn and Finral had no trouble believing him. 

“Will do.” He said and turned back to his brother once more. “Langris, thank y-”

“No need.” Langris silenced him, and Finral could almost laugh at how vehemently the Golden Dawn refused apologies and thanks. 

“Just… “ His brother paused, searching again for the right words. Finral didn’t mind waiting. “Be safe.” He decided. Finral liked hearing those words. Giving one last sharp glare toward Yami, Langris made his exit. 

Yami spoke up. “Did your little brother just threaten to set me on fire in my sleep?” 

“I think so.”

“Okay, just checking.” 

  
  


.

  
  


Apparently, the plan was to head back to the squad base and explain the situation. 

Finral did not like this plan. 

It was especially frustrating given Yami’s tendency to  _ not _ have plans at all, he didn’t see why now that had to change when it inconvenienced Finral. The world was conspiring against him, he was sure of it. 

“We don’t have to tell them you’re the father right away, we could wait for the right moment-”

“When’s that?” Yami challenged him. “When the kid comes out looking at me? Or when Magna tries to propose to you again?”

“Magna proposed to you?!” Asta exclaimed, looking flabbergasted at just the idea of it. Oh yeah, Finral had forgotten Asta hadn’t been there.

Yami gave a toothy grin. “Yeah, Finral here turned him down.”

“Poor Luck.”

“Nah, Luck was there cheering him on.”

“What? I thought Luck and Magna were together!” 

“No _ p _ e,” Yami popped the p. 

Asta pondered. “They must be really good friends then.”

“No, they’re in love.”

“But Captain Yami, you said they aren't-” 

“Why  _ now _ ?” Finral interrupted the very riveting discussion of old news (Magna and Luck were in love, Magna and Luck were idiots, what was  _ new _ ?). “I’m- I’m tired, it’s been a long few days, and I…” The idea of telling the rest of the Black Bulls, the idea of telling  _ Vanessa _ , was petrifying. 

Yami looked at him for a moment, before relenting. “We could keep it quiet until you’re ready, as long as it’s before the kid is born.” Yami actually agreed to his request? That was… new. Where was that understanding when he was low on mama and had to drag Yami around wherever he wanted? Maybe this pregnancy thing gave him more powers than he knew. 

“No problem Finral!” Asta said in agreement and Finral’s stomach plummeted because he’d  _ forgotten _ . Asta was Asta. 

Yami turned on his scary face. Finral dubbed it the scary face but after he’d use it a zillion times on Finral it stopped being as scary as it used to be. And once they started sleeping together it became downright unimpressive to him. 

It wasn’t unimpressive to Asta though. He cringed at the sight of it. 

“Tell anyone I’m the father before we’re ready, and I’ll kill you.” Yami threatened with his usual Yami-ness. 

Asta gave speedy nods, saluting their captain. “Yes Captain Yami sir!” 

Well. That was one ‘problem’ taken care of. At the very least, Finral was pretty sure the info of Yami being the father wouldn’t make a criminal halt in their tracks like it had on the battlefield before. Then again, if a criminal found out he was carrying  _ Yami Sukehiro’s _ kid, they might think twice about hurting him. 

Or maybe they would kidnap him or do worse. 

Finral was giving himself a headache again. Ready to lay down in his own bed, he opened his grimoire to open a portal to the base. 

Yami halted him, his hand wrapped around Finral’s wrist before he could cast. It wasn’t the first time Yami had touched him gently. It never stopped making his heart race though. Every time that beast of a man held him like he was something precious, it made Finral remember why he loved him.

Damn.  _ He loved Yami _ . Lucky for him, Asta didn’t know that one. Finral didn’t have enough power or intimidation for the ‘I’ll kill you’ threat to work. It was lucky Yuno didn’t know either, given he would probably tell Asta. 

“Are you sure you’re good to use magic?” Hearing Yami’s concern vocalized was another weird thing. Yami was always about ‘pushing past his limits.’ To see him so cautious was new and peculiar. 

Finral nodded. “It’s one portal, and a familiar one too. I’m also well rested. It’ll be fine.”

Yami did not look convinced. Finral opted to ignore that, though it was harder to ignore the loss of Yami’s hand on his wrist and how he wished it  _ hadn’t _ been lost. Ugh, could he blame this on the pregnancy hormones? He’d much prefer having the reason be the hormones rather than the whole ‘love’ thing. The hormones would eventually be gone after all. 

If he missed the contact every time Yami so much as touched him and took his hand away, Finral didn’t know how he’d survive. 

  
  


.

  
  


The portal was in front of the base rather than in it. Due to the risk that Magna and Luck were mid-fight or something, Finral wanted to be out of the line of fire. It wasn’t something he usually thought about. Typically he took the risk on account of wanting to avoid the cold wind or too hot sun. He’d deal with either of those things if it lessened the risk of being electrocuted or set on fire. 

It  _ was _ annoying though. If he hadn’t been pregnant, Finral would say he deserved a nice drink. Maybe he could have Charmy whip up something good, non-alcoholic but good. 

Yami kicked down the door much to Finral’s exasperation.  _ Poor Henry _ . 

Lucky for him, not many of their squadmates were around on the ground floor. Finral was happy to avoid the concerned questions for as long as he could. Only Charmy, Gordon, and Grey seemed to be there. At least, he was pretty sure it was Grey. There were two Charmy’s after all, both engrossed in their food. 

“That looks great Charmy!” Asta complimented at the sight of the food displayed before them. Hearing Asta, Charmy perked up and for the first time must have realized he, Asta, and Yami had returned. 

“Finral!” Charmy called, food still in her mouth. She took one last (very big) bite, before swinging off her chair to approach him. “We have to come up with a meal plan for you and the Baby Bull!” 

“The.. the Baby Bull?”

Charmy nodded firmly whilst Asta chuckled. “Yeah, it’s what we’ve been calling the baby.”

“W-we?” The whole ‘we’ factor implied it was more than just Charmy and Asta who had been apparently talking about his baby and calling them ‘The Baby Bull’.

“ _ IsuggestedcallinthemcalflikeanactualbabybullbutBabyBullitselfsoundsverycute.YourbabyispartofourfamilyFinral.OurBabyBull _ .” 

Gordon said… something. It sounded nice? Though Finral could swear he heard something about a cough. Did someone get sick while he was away?

Grey popped from Charmy’s form into her own self, though as always she was covering her face with her hands. “W-we all made a list of what we could do for the baby!” she explained, cheeks flashing red. “I-It’s a work in progress!”

Oh, that was…. that was…  _ God _ , that was…. That was them. They cared about him, they cared about his baby, enough to give it an unofficial name before they were born. Enough that they made a whole list of things they could do for the baby, for Finral. They cared so much more than Finral would have ever imagined. They  _ cared _ . An unfamiliar warmth burned in his chest in such relief y that he’d never known before. 

“Have you eaten breakfast yet?” Charmy demanded, hands on her hips and tone stern to show she meant  _ business _ .

He sputtered. “I-I’m good.” 

Yami did what Finral could only call a fake cough with the word -“ _ Bullshit _ ,” slipped in there. 

Finral glared at him fiercely. Yami, as per usual, was unaffected. “I’m not hungry at the moment,” It was the truth too. He was a bit too tired and wiped from the morning to have much of an appetite. “I need to rest for a little bit, I’ll eat afterward,” he promised Charmy.

For some reason, not a single one of them, even Asta, looked like they believed him.

The rudeness, really.

Before Finral could speak in his own defense, the door burst open and there was Vanessa behind it.

At the sight of her, Finral felt any words he had dry out. Would she be pissed at him for leaving like he had? He wouldn’t blame her if she was. He wondered if she was going to yell at him. 

Instead, she began to charge. She was like a force of nature running toward him, but before she could reach him, she was thwarted by Yami’s grasp of her robe. He didn’t completely stop her, but he tugged her back with an accompanying look that served as a reminder  _ not _ to jump on Finral. Finral could only guess it was because of the whole pregnancy thing. 

Vanessa returned Yami’s look with a look of her own as if insulted at the insinuation she’d forgotten. She didn’t continue running (which was probably why Yami didn’t stop her again) but rather, she marched. The pink-haired witch, his best friend, marched right up to him and threw her arms around him. 

Luckily, not in a chokehold. 

Back in the day, before he started sleeping with Yami, before he even  _ presented _ , a hug from Vanessa would have been something he pumped his fist in the air for. Now, it wasn’t a ‘win’ or ‘score’, but a comfort. Something Finral could let himself melt into, someone whose arms he could feel absolutely  _ safe  _ in. 

“You dummy,” She berated him, holding him tightly. “You had me worried.” It was a different kind of safe than Yami. With Yami, Finral knew he would never allow any harm to come to Finral. With Vanessa, it felt like Finral couldn’t bring any harm to  _ himself _ . She could tell when he was sad or when something was bothering him or even when he was beating himself up over nothing and spiraling. Vanessa knew him better than anybody else, she was his very best friend in the world. She was more important to him than Finral ever thought was possible. 

He couldn’t keep lying to her.

“Could I talk to you alone?” He asked.

Vanessa didn’t look shocked by the request. Then again, being as all-knowing as she was, Vanessa had probably been expecting it. 

He glanced toward Yami, apologetic of the fact he just made a big deal about  _ not _ telling the squad, only to turn around and tell Vanessa. He expected annoyance at the very least, instead Yami looked like he approved. Did it make Finral pathetic that such a look made his heart flutter?  _ Stupid pregnancy hormones _ .

Vanessa pulled away, though her hands remained holding onto his shoulders. “We could talk in my room.” She told him. 

Finral had no objection. Vanessa’s room was a safe space. He’d slept in her bed with her on nights when he struggled with nightmares. It’d never been something sexual, it’d been a comfort. The only other person Finral had ever properly slept in the same bed with had been Langris when they were little, and Yami when they were both a bit too tired after screwing. That time with Langris was long gone though, and those times with Yami were rare. Probably nonexistent now. Vanessa was different from them both. If Finral so much as heard a creak in his room that freaked him out, or if he simply just  _ wanted  _ to, Vanessa would be there. Albeit, she may be drunk. But she would always be there.

It made his heart ache that what he was about to tell her had the potential to change that. It was scary, and if he hadn’t already emptied his stomach this morning he’d expect it to happen again. Ah, now he had another justifiable reason to reject Charmy’s offer of food. Score? 

Asta and Yami took seats at the table, joining Charmy food while Finral left with Vanessa upstairs toward her room. As theyheaded through the threshold, Yami gave him one final look. 

For once, Finral didn’t know what to make of it. Nonetheless, once more, he felt something inside of himself flutter. Damn Yami...

  
  


.

  
  


He wasted no time before splaying out on Vanessa’s bed He needed to lay down. He heard Vanessa laughing behind him.

“Did you hear me say make yourself comfortable?” She challenged him with humor in her tone. 

Finral snuggled into her pillow. “It was  _ implied _ .”

Vanessa laughed once more. “Scoot over,” she said, plopping onto her bed beside him. Finral did so, sitting upright so he could face Vanessa properly. 

He opened his mouth to begin but she halted him with her single pointer finger up. “Let me guess,”  _ Guess _ ? Oh, this should be good. Like, actually good, because Vanessa had a habit of guessing correctly for most things. “You’re going to tell me who the baby daddy is.”

Well, she wasn’t wrong. And he  _ really _ didn’t like that expression. “Yes, he’s…” Vanessa looked like she was eagerly awaiting the answer (like she was waiting to be proved  _ right _ ). Finral hoped she was too. He was hoping that she already knew it to be Yami, or at least guessed so that when he said the words it would be a far less devastating impact. Maybe no impact at all. Maybe she’d laugh at him. He wanted her to laugh at him. 

He inhaled deeply. “The baby-  _ my  _ baby’s father... is Yami.” 

Vanessa blinked. She was, accordingly, not laughing. “Yami… Sukehiro?” She confirmed as if it needed confirmation. 

_ Is there another _ ? He wanted to say, but his throat felt too tight to utter a word. Instead, he nodded. The fear for her reaction was overwhelming. Was this it? Was this the moment Vanessa said ‘ _ Get out of my room’ _ ? Was this her about to leave their squad? About to leave  _ him _ ?

She swallowed, still looking pensive. “I thought it would be a criminal.” 

Finral balked. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. “You think I’d sleep with a criminal?!”

“Since when have you been known for making good or healthy choices?!” Vanessa argued, her hand lifted to clamp upon her head. “ _ Yami _ .” Finally, she met his gaze. “Finral…” He didn’t know what to make of her tone. It wasn’t like anything he’d heard from Vanessa before. 

“Are you mad at me?” He asked. 

Vanessa was quiet for a long moment. 

“Yes.” She said finally.

_ Oh _ . He bit onto his lower lip to stop its trembling and he breathed in deeply to try and keep himself  _ calm _ . Vanessa hated him. Okay. He could live with this. Except he really couldn’t live with this because Vanessa  _ hated _ him. He talked to Vanessa every day, she made him laugh and she made him comfortable and she was his very best friend and the fact that she hated him broke his damn  _ heart _ \- “I-” His voice unintentionally quavered. He could barely hide it from Vanessa when he was  _ imagining _ someone hating him and could put on a fake smile. Now here he was, unable to stop himself from shaking and holding back tears.

For a very long time, Vanessa had been the only constant he counted on. It was easy for him to spiral when he thought about what others thought of him. It was easy to convince himself that the whole squad saw him as nothing but a complaining womanizing coward that happened to be a convenient pack mule. Convincing himself Langris saw him as unworthy of living was even  _ easier _ . Vanessa had always been the exception. Vanessa, who went through trouble for him again and again, who proved she cared when she got him his favorite coffee or actually  _ wanted  _ to spend time with him. It was hard to doubt Vanessa’s love for him when she proved it time and time again. 

This time, it wasn’t that he believed she didn’t care. He knew she did. He knew she  _ had _ . He just… ruined it. By sleeping with the man she had loved once, or perhaps still  _ did _ love. Lying to her about it, he ruined it all. 

“I’ll…” He needed to stop so as to avoid letting the sob leave his throat. Instead of finishing the sentence,  _ I’ll leave you alone, I’m sorry _ . He moved toward the edge of her bed, intending to stand up and give her her well-deserved space.

“What are you doing?” Vanessa asked. 

Did it need saying? Because Finral was trying his very hardest to  _ not _ burst into tears so Vanessa wouldn’t feel guilty and obligated to help someone she hated (because she was a good person, and she would do that). 

Unable to bring forth the words, and refusing to let himself cry, Finral pointed to her door. 

Vanessa stared at him. “I’m mad at you.” She said the words, and finally, Finral felt himself  _ break _ . 

“I know!” He sobbed, unable to contain himself any longer. “I  _ know _ .” 

Her expression grew softer. She looked at him, and it felt like pity. Finral didn’t believe it was pity, he had to believe it  _ wasn’t _ . Vanessa wouldn’t pity him, she wouldn’t do that to him. She wouldn’t. 

“Finral,” She said. “I’m mad at you.”

“I kno-”

“No, you obviously don’t!” Vanessa interrupted, more furious than he’d ever seen her before. “I’m mad at you Finral! That doesn’t mean I hate you or that our friendship is over! You know that, right? You  _ have  _ to know that.” 

“B-but…”

She inhaled deeply, as if she was making an effort to calm herself down. If that was it, it worked. Her fury dissipated, replaced with what could only be described as sorrow. “ _ Finral _ , I love you.” 

“You don’t have to-”

“I. Love. You.” She repeated firmly. “Do you even know why I’m mad?” 

Finral blinked. Of course he knew. “You used to be in love with Yami.”

She looked at him like he was insane. Finral wondered if he was. “I’m mad at you,” Vanessa repeated for the 4th time. “Because you felt like you couldn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but he couldn’t find the words. Probably because she was right. “I thought you’d hate me.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Is it?”

“It  _ is _ .” Vanessa grasped his hand roughly, squeezing it. “Me hating you is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had, which is impressive because you have had a  _ lot _ . You’re my best friend who I love deeply, and it makes me mad that you thought you couldn’t tell me this. It  _ also _ makes me mad you think I’m capable of hating you.”

“I-”

“Finral.” Vanessa addressed him firmly. “I love you.”

He blinked his teary eyes. What Finral said next surprised even himself. “I believe you.” 

He did. He… actually believed her. That belief that was dismantled and undone only moments ago was now stronger than ever.

He wondered if he could blame this one of the pregnancy hormones too. 

“So…” Vanessa leaned against her wall, sighing deeply. “ _ Yami _ .” Then she laughed. 

It felt nice to join in the laughter when he’d been crying only a second ago. 

“Yeah,” Finral chuckled sheepishly. “I still don’t know how that happened.” 

She gave him a look of amusement. “Of all the girls you get rejected by, and the men you shouldn’t be flirting with, you sleep with  _ Yami. _ ” 

It did sound kind of funny when she said it like that. He nodded, exhaling what felt like a long-held breath. “ _ Yeah _ .”

Then Vanessa was staring at him with what could only be described as a quizzical expression. 

“Holy shit.”

Finral frowned. “What?”

“You’re in love with him!” 

What the-- how- how did she- “Keep your voice down!” he pleaded in a hushed tone. “He might hear you!”

Vanessa gaped. “And he doesn’t  _ know _ ?”

Finral gave her a look. “Of course not!” Dejectedly, he added. “It’s not like he’d ever love me back...”

“Well,” She replied. “I never thought he’d sleep with you but here we are.”

“ _ Vanessa _ !” 

She hushed her tone down though her exuberant energy remained. “He really doesn’t know you love him?”

“Did he ever find out when you loved him?” 

She quieted it at that. 

“You’re having a baby with the man you love,” Vanessa told him. It was not a sentence Finral had heard before put together. He was having a baby with Yami. He loved Yami. Putting it together like that was a whole other feeling entirely. 

“He doesn’t love me.” 

“Maybe not in the way you love him,” Vanessa responded, honest. “But he  _ does _ love you, and love is known to change.” She smirked. “When I met you, I loved you like my favorite broom..”

“Thanks, it’s always been my dream to be loved like a broom.” 

Vanessa chuckled at him. “Now I love you like-” She pondered for a moment. “I love you like I’m going to  _ keep  _ loving you no matter how idiotic you’re capable of being.”

“Very funny.” He said sarcastically, but couldn’t help his fond grin. 

She nudged him. “You gonna tell him?” 

His smile dimmed. “I don’t want him loving me out of obligation.”

Vanessa snorted. “Since when has Yami done anything out of obligation?”

Finral thought back to the words Yami had said when he first told him of the baby. “Not yet,” He decided. “But I will… eventually.” 

She leaned her head upon his shoulder. “Sure.” Vanessa said, and Finral didn’t know what to make of the word. “Just… don’t worry too much about it. Because whether he’s in love with you or not, he  _ does _ love you. We all do.” She looked up at him. “You’re not alone Finral.” 

Huh. He really wasn’t.

  
  


.

  
  


The talk with Vanessa had left him pretty exhausted. Well, even  _ more _ exhausted than he’d been already. Finral was ready to lay down in his own bed and take a proper nap, maybe even sleep through the night. He’d wake up and eat whatever Charmy insisted he eat, at the very least he was sure it’d be delicious. 

What he hadn’t expected was to find Yami lazily lounging on his bed. 

Finral stopped in his tracks, taking a step back to check the front of the door again.  _ Yep _ , his room. So what was Yami doing here? 

“How’d it go?” Yami asked him as if it wasn’t unusual that he was in Finral’s bed. 

“It went fine- _ why _ are you here?” 

Yami sat up, looking him over and ignoring his question. “You look like you’ve been crying.”

Finral sighed. “I’ve cried a lot in the past few days.” Not to mention he was a natural crier to begin with, the pregnancy sure didn’t help. 

At least Yami had the decency to look guilty. “I’m sorry.” 

Finral froze at those words. Those… he was pretty sure Yami hadn’t actually apologized before. He had explained, he had said there was no excuse for his behavior but he hadn’t actually said the words…  _ I’m sorry _ . 

Maybe he should have taken the apology and been grateful. Maybe, before, he would have. “For which part?” 

At such a question, Yami lifted his hand to his mouth, as if to let out a blow of his cigarette. 

Only he didn’t have one. His hand clenched and he ran his hands through his hair instead, just like before.

Finral frowned. Earlier, he had decided he’d ask later.  _ Now  _ was later. “You’ve never had a problem smoking inside before. Or outside either, for that matter. Anywhere really.” 

Yami looked at him and Finral resisted the urge to melt under his intense gaze. Co-parenting would be a pain in the ass if he folded whenever Yami looked at him with that smoldering look. 

“You’re pregnant,” Yami stated. “That shit’s bad for the kid, right?”

His lips parted into agape. Oh, yeah it was. It was something he’d known but hadn’t considered. He sure as hell never considered the idea Yami himself was choosing not to smoke for the baby’s sake. That he cared enough  _ not _ to smoke. 

“You know I’m going to be pregnant for nine months, right? And then once the baby’s born-” Yami was looking at him like Finral was repeating things he already knew. Which...  _ oh _ . “You’re giving up smoking.”

Yami shrugged it off nonchalantly. “I still have some places to smoke. As long as you or the kid aren’t there it’ll be fine…” He was waving it off like it was unimportant. 

Finral didn’t feel like it was. 

“Well uh, I…” He swallowed, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed. He stepped into his bedroom, closing the door gently behind him. “I never liked it when you smoked either.”

Yami quirked a brow. “You never told me that.”

Finral nodded. “Yeah, I never liked kissing you when you smoked. Your breath... “ He chuckled sheepishly, awkwardly. “I didn’t like it very much.”

“You could have told me.”

“I didn’t think you’d care.” Finral didn’t say it to be rude or insulting, but it truly never occurred to him that Yami would care about his preference. 

“I would have,” Yami said. “I do.” He didn’t expand upon it or explain, but Finral found himself believing the man anyway. 

There was something very strange about seeing Yami lying there so casually. Not off-putting, but strange nonetheless. Finral took a seat upon his bed, bringing his right foot up, ready to undo the laces in his boots. Before he could begin to untangle them, he was swirled around to face Yami, both feet having dragged behind him were now on his bed.

“Let me help.” Yami didn’t ask, telling him instead.  _ Let me help _ . 

Finral swallowed as the alpha began undoing the laces in his boots with more gentleness than he was used to seeing Yami use. He tugged the first one off, and moved onto the second. 

“I don’t like shoes on my bed,” Finral noted. Before, he had his feet at the very edge so their bottoms didn’t touch his mattress or blankets.

Yami shrugged, still working on his other boot. “You could have my bed.”

_ With you in it _ ? It took all Finral’s willpower not to ask. The last boot was tugged off and Finral asked once more. “What are you doing here Yami?” Did he come to apologize? Tell him why he wasn’t smoking anymore? To take Finral’s boots off? To make Finral remember why he was so attracted to him in the first place... 

The man sighed. “I… don’t know.” He seemed sheepish. Finral had never seen Yami sheepish before. It was kind of cute, still very attractive. “I wanted to check on you.”

“On me?”

“You see anyone else around?” 

_ Fuck _ . This time Finral could blame the pregnancy hormones properly when he leaned forward, sliding into Yami’s lap and wrapping an arm behind Yami’s neck so he could kiss him. 

It wasn’t like the last time they kissed when they fucked before Finral had revealed his pregnancy. That had been something rawer. No, this was something… softer. 

_ Oh _ , Finral realized the difference,  _ this wasn’t the pregnancy hormones _ . Those had made him want Yami ravaging him. This… wasn’t that. Not that he didn’t want that, but he wanted something  _ more _ . 

Yami… didn’t react. He didn’t push him away, but he didn’t lean into Finral or make that toothy smirk. Suddenly feeling very embarrassed and unwanted, Finral began to scramble out of his lap. Only to let out a yelp when Yami’s arm circled his waist, keeping him steady. “Careful,” Yami warned him, Finral still seated in his lap. 

He thought about telling Yami it was the pregnancy hormones. That would be true about their prior fuck the other day, but… on this occasion, it’d be a lie. A lie Finral may need so he wouldn’t have to tell Yami that he was in love with him. 

“Hold onto me,” Yami told him, and before Finral had the chance to inquire, Yami’s arm looped beneath his knees while the other tightly gripped his lower back, then he lifted. Holding Finral in his arms, unprompted. 

His cheeks burned red. “Yami-”

“Give me a moment.” Yami dismissed his whine, touching his feet upon the ground and standing with Finral remaining in his arms. He held him effortlessly. Before Finral could object further, Yami lowered back onto his bed. 

It was a gentle touch, making sure he didn’t simply drop him but lay him down comfortably. Despite the end of Yami carrying him, Finral’s cheeks remained burning furiously 

“Why did you do that?” Yami looked down at him, and Finral suddenly felt very vulnerable. It was so different than when Yami had been on top of him when they were fucking. It was something more intimate. 

“You need to lay down and sleep.”

Finral shut his eyes, not to sleep but rather so he could inhale deeply. “You still didn’t have to do it like  _ that _ .”

Yami shrugged. 

“I’m sorry that I jumped you,” Finral apologized hastily. He hadn’t meant to make Yami uncomfortable. They didn’t even know what they were now, outside of co-parents. It was… confusing. Especially for Finral, who was in love with him. Not that he planned for Yami to find that out anytime soon. 

“Don’t be sorry.” Yami dismissed, and Finral snorted. 

“You’re the third person to tell me that.”

Yami looked amused at that. “Maybe you should stop apologizing so often.”

Maybe so. 

“So you’re not… mad at me. For kissing you.”

Yami was silent for a moment, and Finral felt his anxiety grow. Was this Yami trying to think of a way to let him down easy? Or say that he wasn’t attracted to him anymore? Or maybe he still was but the pregnancy thing made it weird. Maybe-

“I’m not mad,” Yami said. Finral waited for an explanation. He  _ wanted _ an explanation. Yami didn’t offer one. Instead, he reached for Finral’s blankets. 

“You know,” Finral began. “I still have to change into my pajamas, right?” 

Yami paused. “Shit.”

Finral couldn’t help it, he laughed. Sighing, Yami took a seat on his bed whilst Finral remained laying down. A switch of their prior positions. 

“Do you think the kid will need to be tucked in?” 

“Probably, yes.”

“They’ll need changing too.”

“They’ll need a lot of things.”

Silence was the response he was meant with. Yami looked, for lack of a better word, nervous. It wasn’t a look Finral had ever seen on him before, and it wasn’t a look he liked. 

“You’ll be taking care of me, right? During this whole pregnancy,” he said. “And I’ve been told I’m a lot worse than a baby. So you’ll get loads of practice.”

Yami cracked a smile at that. There was a flutter in Finral’s chest from the sight of it, also from the fact  _ he _ produced it. “Plus,” Finral went on. “We have a lot of people to help us, and we could ask advice from other parents.”

_ Other parents _ . Cause that’s what they were now, or at least, very soon they were going to become.  _ He and Yami were going to become parents _ . It was a strange thing to think about. 

“What other parents do we know?” Yami asked and it was a fair question. 

“We won’t be asking my parents.”

“Fuck no.”

“The Wizard King?”

Yami made a face at him as an option but didn’t dismiss it. 

“Owen?” Yami suggested this time. 

Finral thought about it. “Owen has kids?”

Yami suddenly looked unsure. “Does he?” He thought about it a moment before shrugging. “We’ll just ask anyway.” 

Finral thought about the Black Bulls, he thought about the Golden Dawn, he thought about  _ Langris _ . Then he looked at Yami, Yami who was  _ there _ and who  _ cared _ . For the first time, Finral felt proper confidence about bringing their child into the world and raising them. 

“Yeah, we could.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always nothing went the way I pictured it to go. BUT, I finally finished proper! Which, holy crap. This might be my first properly finished long fanfic maybe ever?? Sure it’s part of a series but still!! I did it! *insert golden star*.
> 
> The conversation between Yami and Finral did not go the way I thought it would. In my own opinion, I do think the later conversation between Finral and Vanessa was more intense than the first Yami and Finral one, which really surprised me. Not to say Yami and Finral weren’t intense but yeah. I didn’t expect Finral to spiral like that when facing Vanessa, but I don’t regret it and I kinda love that he did. Vanessa means a lot to him. 
> 
> The ending convo with Yami and Finral was a more recent idea but plotted nonetheless. Some of it was my initial plan, but it def did change. My initial plan was Finral being affected by his pregnancy hormones like in chapter 1, but then I realized as I was writing ‘Oh wait, no that was gentle. This is because he’s in love with Yami. Not the hormones’. 
> 
> As for Yami’s feelings for Finral, those will be addressed in future installments. As well as other plotlines that weren’t finished in this one. Like the omega mother and her child Finral met in chapter 1, Finral telling the other Black Bulls, and of course, the baby actually being born. 
> 
> Initially, I had the idea of Finral telling Vanessa one on one, and telling everyone else in a group setting. However I feel like this is a big reveal, and I think it’d be nice if each squad member had the chance for their own feelings on the subject to be touched upon rather than it being swallowed under the group reaction. Some reactions will be stronger than others, and some will just shrug it off, but I figured each of em deserves their chance to shine. 
> 
> I can’t say for sure when the next fic will come out, or what it will center on. I have a ton planned for this series, and I still have to finish some other WIPs of mine as well (I may try and do one of those before I start the next fic for this verse, unless the muse for this verse strikes me, which is very probable). 
> 
> Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoyed ‘chasing cars’!! Thank you so much for reading <3


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